Save me
by jadedj8
Summary: When Kanda's life is endangered - how far would Allen go to save him? Yullen.
1. Prologue

Pairings: Yullen

Pairings: Yullen

Rating: M

Disclaimer: d.gray-man belongs to Hoshino Katsura.

Summary: Kanda's life force is reduced to the last 5 petals and the search for a remedy for the curse in on. Allen Walker stumbles upon a method to reverse the effects of the curse but would he be able to carry out his plan and save Kanda?

**Prelude**

--Allen's POV--

Mana and I were walking in one of the streets in England, like always I would be walking behind him, staring at the strong back as we walk. Seeing Mana's back – it always gave me courage and strength to continue walking because I know no matter where I was, I would never me alone. Mana would be with me.

Suddenly everything happened so fast, I hardly had time to react. A young child had stumbled onto the streets and the horse carriage, in an attempt to avoid hitting the child steered abruptly left. Instead of hitting the child, the carriage hit Mana.

I couldn't do anything but stare as Mana fell to the ground with a dull thud. I walked to his side, waiting for him to get up. But he didn't... and I waited...

"_Mana!"_

"_Allen. Listen Allen... No matter what… Don't ever… stop"_

"_No Mana. Please, don't die."_

"_Keep on walking – no matter where to"_

This was the mantra that Mana always chanted to me. Even in his last moments – these were the only words that he could say to me. I wanted more – these were not the words I wanted to hear.

"_Don't leave me all alone."_

I wanted Mana to tell me that he would be alright and he would be with me… Together, we would keep walking, but Mana continued to lie on the cold streets, his right hand gently gripping my left... I couldn't do anything but see him barely able to keep his head up to look at me while he talked…

"_Keep on walking. Allen! Until... the day… you die…"_

_Slowly, I could feel Mana's fingers loosening on my left and his head falling to the ground once again._

"_M-Mana…? No... You can't be dead! Don't die! I don't want you to die!"_

"_Mana!"_

With a jerk, I was back in reality, staring at the grey ceiling of my hotel room. I slowly sat up, trying to slow down my breathing and ease the panic in my heart. _Mana…_

Despite all these years – it still hurts to relive these moment in his dreams. It was always the same - waking up in tears, body tangled between the sheets, heart pounding and the ache in his heart, contracting his chest, threatening to cut off his air.

_At least it wasn't the other dream… I would be able to fall back to sleep later tonight._

It was in these dreams that I was always so vulnerable. Time traveling back to when, my world was crumbling and I was all alone. Mana, who had adopted me and loved me, had left. There would be no one to love me anymore. No one.

It was embarrassing to know he was still a crybaby despite being a general. What Kanda would think of him?


	2. Never Someone

Chapter 1

**Never Someone.**

-Normal POV-

Walking down the streets of Bombay, Allen couldn't help but recall the happier memories spent here. Nothing much had changed over the years – Bombay was as crowded and busy as it had ever been. It was also in this city, that Cross left him so that Allen could embark on his journey to the Black Order.

Flashes of Cross with a hammer crossed his mind and they sent shivers down his spine. _No... shudders _Allen slapped himself mentally for having such thoughts and began prep-talking to himself.

"_You are always going to be an idiotic apprentice if you still can't stand up to Cross now. You are already a General yourself! Be a man! Be like Kanda!"_

Allen would never say it out loud; his biggest secret. He loved Kanda and not even Timcampy knew – it was too scandalous. Initial admiration had blossomed into something else and before he could stop himself - he was in love. Then, came the desire to prove his worth and gain Kanda's acknowledgement, and maybe take a second look at him? Kanda was always skeptical about his abilities; even after becoming a General. Now he was contented with securing Kanda's acknowledgements.

Despite the lack of any civil exchange, they worked surprisingly well together. Their endless digs at each other only served to push the other to do his best. While Kanda's razor-sharp sarcasm fanned these desires, it was Kanda's little acts of concern, as rare as they were, that made everything worth it. Memories of these sweet moments were also carefully tucked away, only to be retrieved and savored at his most private moments.

For this leg of the trip – they were staying at Ms. Urmina's mansion. She had been Cross's _mistress_ and insisted on hosting Allen and Kanda while they were in town. Allen couldn't be happier to stay at the luxurious mansion and have a comfortable night before going onto their mission. But the young general should have known better. Over dinner, cries of how much she had missed Allen quickly turned to questions on Cross's details and whereabouts. He could hardly finish his dinner before it turned cold. _Sigh – what do women see in Cross? I really don't get it._

On his little walk, Allen's legs subconsciously brought him to a familiar stretch of land and he settled himself on the river bank. Tonight, he and Kanda would set off to a remote village further north, where several level 2 Akumas were sighted. There was still time before dinner and Allen let his thoughts wonder.

Allen had gotten to know Narein during his stay in India and he had been his first real friend – someone he finally found to share his thoughts and feelings with. But Narein turned his sister into an Akuma. In the end, he; they were the first Akuma that Allen had consciously killed. Looking at the sunset's ray reflecting of the water reminded him of that fateful day. This was the very spot where he killed the Akuma. A small, sad smile sneaked its way across his face.

Was anyone, whom he loved, destined to be killed by his own hands? Perhaps he was destined to be alone forever? Deep down, Allen already knew the answers to his questions - because he loved both humans and Akuma. So he had to fight for their salvation – so maybe that was why there was no room left to love any individual_. I could love everyone but never someone… there was no place for a single individual…_

Allen had been too caught up in his thoughts to sense the approaching samurai. Beneath his sulking mask, deep down, Kanda was concerned. Since yesterday's dinner, Allen hardly talked, spending long hours roaming the mansion grounds. Now dinner was about to be served and Allen was nowhere to be found. If he didn't get Allen back for dinner, he was very sure the white haired general was going to pass out on the streets. It would be embarrassing to carry the little brat back…

Toma had already gotten their suitcases and they would leave right after dinner. Any minute longer spent in the wretched mansion and he was sure he would go insane. If Allen hadn't insisted on spend a night in the mansion, they probably would have completed their mission by now. _Stupid beansprout_… he wanted to shout at the damned moyashi for being an irresponsible brat and forgetting it was time for dinner.But his words were suddenly stuck in my throat when he spotted silent tears rowing down those pale cheeks.

"_Che – that stupid beansprout. Turning himself into an emotional wreck again. How the hell did the brat ever become a General anyway?! He is still such a sensitive and naive idiot…"_

"Oi, Moyashi. Stop staring at your own reflection. It is not going to make you any less ugly. It's already dinner time."

"Idiotic beansprout general. Fancy having me to walk so far to invite you to come for dinner…"

Allen was shocked that Kanda had been standing beside him, hoping he hadn't seen his tears. He tried to wipe them away discretely as he stood up and silently, he walked towards the mansion with Kanda a few feet behind. Right now, he didn't trust himself to speak.

_Goodbye Narein… until we meet again, take care my friend._

Dinner was a simple affair and before sun down, they set off on foot towards the village. Accustomed to each other's habits, the trio hiked the hills and through the forests in silence, carefully observing their surroundings. It had become their habit now.

Because Kanda's lotus had only 5 petals left – it wasn't wise to send him on missions alone. It was decided that he would accompany Allen on his missions, traveling around the world for Innocence and returning only once of twice a year. It provided opportunity for Kanda to look for a remedy for his curse or perhaps find _that person_. With each passing day, it meant Kanda was a step closer to death; and there was no stopping the 'curse'. The slowing down in Kanda's recovery rate was a subtle but strong indication of his dwindling life force. Time is precious. _Indeed._

Kanda was still early in his prime and it was an excellent exorcist. The order was in a terrible state now as news of Kanda's imminent doom enveloped the Order a state of gloom. Kanda might not be one of the most popular exorcists; but he was a man, serious about his job. His combat abilities fully compensating for his lack of personality and his silent, subtle love for comrades didn't go unnoticed either.

Eventually they spotted the village up ahead and Allen's eye picked up the presence of 4 Akumas. While Kanda's duty was to retrieve the Innocence, it was Allen's duty to destroy the Akuma. Kanda was also not allowed to invoke unless absolutely necessary and he grudgily accepted these arrangements, not wanting to upset Lenalee.

Allen frowned with worry. Hopefully they were only level 2 Akumas. He didn't want Kanda to invoke, much less get himself injured. Allen was determined to minimize the use of Kanda's life force as much as possible. But he would never say it in front of Kanda. God knows how Kanda would react if he was going to be protected like a damsel in distress.

As they hurried to the village, Allen swore to protect the one he loved.


	3. Together, we fight

Gomenasai

**Gomenasai! The fight scene's really a pain in the ass to come up with! It's very tough – hope it wasn't too bad! P **

**To windam2611, YugiKitten, Hana Goldflower, SeikaDragon, ying9:  
Thanks guys, for your reviews! It keeps me going!**

**Together, we fight.**

-Normal POV-

At the edge of the village, Tomas hid in one of the few buildings still left standing, watching the two exorcists approach the Akumas. From its second storey – the finder could see every inch of the village because every other part had been flattened out. The scene before him resembled a child's playroom; filled with building blocks. The child, or rather, the _children_ had probably grown bored playing with the miniature buildings and for the fun of it, decided to topple them all.

Next was Kanda's turn to leave to search for the Innocence, silently blending into the shadows created by the moonlight. Not far ahead, Allen could clearly make out the four Akumas lazing among the debris of the central square; basking in the moonlight's soft glow. While the scene before him was morbidly beautiful – what Allen could saw was anything but that. The darkness that clouded the area was almost pitch-black, which further contrasted the glowing flames that the trapped souls was cocooned in. Allen could never get use to the horror of seeing these chained souls, no matter how many Akumas he fought.

The young general's uneasiness escalated at the sight of the four level 3 Akumas. God knows how many lives were lost for them to evolve this stage. Having never fought four level 3s at one shot before, Allen was afraid. Was he confident of fighting them without Kanda's help?

Since the moonlight illuminated Allen's snowy hair, from afar, it looks like a bright orb floating in the darkness. Allen was glowing, so it wasn't long before he was spotted…

"Well. Well. Well… What have we here? A general exorcist? Hahaha… Boy, are we in for a treat tonight."

When the silence was suddenly broken, the other three Akumas at up abruptly, all attention focused onto Allen and they were pleasantly surprised. One of them quickly darted forward, closing their gap.

"Oh... what a delicate thing you are! What's your name, pretty lass? Hmmm, such beautiful features and snowy skin… too bad your beauty's marred by the horrible scar and the weird eye."

"Stop ogling, you damn perverted airhead. Can't you see that? T_he exorcist is a_ _male_… He's wearing pants."

"Damn. A male. But I bet his flesh will taste just as sweet..."

"Well, what it is a pretty boy like yourself, wondering around alone in the night... Tsk, tsk, tsk.. It's dangerous you know... Are you scared that the big bad wolf's going to get you? No worries because you are going to have us keep company tonight? Eh sweetie"

The closest Akuma walked even closer, attempting to touch Allen. He had ignored their burning gaze and listened to them rant just to buy some time for Kanda but not any longer. _Shut up._

"Innocence, activate!"

"Awww… I didn't' know you are into BSMD. We don't have that kind of kink but we don't mind having a bit of fun before supper. We just have to rip that uniform bit by bit; after that, we can slowly savour your flesh when you die… Hahaha."

--

In the darkness, Kanda quickly and silently maneuvered around the debris – careful to stay hidden within the shadows. If we hadn't known better, anyone could have mistaken the samurai for a ninja. Finally at the temple, he wormed his way through the half – collapsed roof ad into the temple lobby. Statutes of various deities were scattered across the floor; offerings were left rotting and a thick layer of dust covered the temple lobby in a coat of grey. But Kanda's focus was drawn to the lotus pond that was the heart of the lobby. The pond was as big as the Order's cafeteria and it was brimming with lotuses. Moonlight leaking in through the roof's cracks acted like spotlight on the lotus flowers; the lush green of its leaves further enhancing its beauty.

Staring at the flowers, Kanda felt like he was back at the order, staring at his own encased lotus. As beautiful as it was, the flower as a constant reminder of his existence. And he wasn't going to last very long. He hated being reminded of it.

_Wretched flower…_

In addition, it was that very reason that he was here looking for the innocence while some dumb beansprout was fighting… He wasn't too mad about not being able to fight since it meant. But it did a number to his pride. But for revenge, he was prepared to swallow that bit of pride because he was going to find and _kill__his father's murderer_. 

Caught in the crossfire of succession struggle, his parents were framed for a crime they didn't commit. Kanda knew who was the mastermind behind the ploy but he was still a child then, powerless in the world of adults. Forced to flee, he was taken in by General Tiedoll and joined the Order. Kanda honed his skills fighting Akuma and hopefully it would prepare him for the fight when he eventually finds that man. 

Intuition told Kanda that the innocence was among the lotuses as the exorcist gracefully jumped and landed on one of the lotus leaves. If it has been anyone else, it would have been impossible to get through the sea of stem and leaves. But to Kanda, walking on the leaves was almost like walking on concrete flooring to him. Retrieving the Innocence was almost just as easy – Kanda sliced Mugen through the root of the lotus at the heart of the pond. But the moment he removed glowing object from the plant, the samurai instantly regretted it. The plants disintegrated before he going get out and he unceremoniously landed in the murky pond.

"Fucking damn it. My uniform's soaked and my hair is wet too. That moyashi is going to have a laughing fit when he sees me."

Pocketing the Innocence, Kanda waddled through the murky waters for a good half an hour before he was out of it. Muck was stuck on his flooded boots, his coat was wet and filthy but he didn't have time to lament about his state of attire. He had to join Allen soon; half hoping he hadn't killed himself already. Truth be told, the samurai had a soft spot for the youngster and it didn't require a lot of intelligence to know the other had something for him too.

He couldn't help but worry about Allen, and he didn't have the heart to abandon him either. You could say, opposites really do attract. Maybe, Kanda was attracted to Allen because of their similarities. Orphaned and fighting Akumas at a tender age, both were left to fend to themselves and survived. 

But more likely – it was their differences that drew the samurai towards the young boy. Despite their similar background, Allen hadn't hardened his heart like he did. Allen, merely used his emotions to strengthening his resolve, but never to change who he was or let them overwhelm the purity of his love of humans. Even over the years where the number of finders and exorcists who died under the hands of the Earl and the Noahs escalated, the white haired boy never wavered. 

Kanda was proud to have the weird bundle of personalities as his partner – carefree and childlike most of the time; downright demonic with cards, and an emotional wreck whenever he was in a mission. No matter what the circumstances, Allen would never give up on a fight – a fight to salvage the damned and eventually defeat the Earl of Millennium. 

But the best part was that he didn't have to treat Allen any different even if Allen was now a general. It was because Walker didn't behave like one – he was the same boy who first entered the gate of the order. The only bit that was different was the way Walker would retort his sarcastic remarks with taunting comments. It irritated Kanda to no end at the digs at him but he was secretly happy, because now he had more fond memories of Allen. 

Meanwhile, Allen was having a tough time deflecting attacks from his left, right, front, back and airborne attacks from above. In desperation, he let loose his Crown Belt, leaving his Innocence to fight attacks from behind while he focused his attack. But as time past, it was rapidly sapping energy from him and he had yet to destroy any Akuma.

Kanda eventually surfaced from the shadows and hurried towards the Akumas, drawing Mugen from its sheath. Frowning – he saw Allen and he was hardly able to launch any attack. _Che – baka moyashi._

"Oh! Another exorcist! Oooo… That girl is so tall."

"Haha. You really prove me right, airhead. He's wearing pants too."

"Huh! Another male? What does the Order do, recruiting all these girly looking men!"

"Che – you sure talk a lot of an Akuma. Ready to die?'

With the older boy joining the general, standing back to back and swords held up high, they were a formidable pair. Smirking at the Akuma, he couldn't wait to slice them down for insulting him. _Girly man?!_ A scrawny and crybaby beansprout could be counted as girly but he, Kanda was as manly as anyone could be. _I will show you – I am going to defeat you without even invoking... _but his thoughts were distracted by the loud sniffing behind him.

"Kanda, why do you smell so bad?"

Kanda's eyebrows twitching in annoyance. He wasn't going to admit that he had fallen into a pond and thus ending up in his unglamorous state.

"Stop sniffing like a dog and concentrate on attacking. I have already gotten the Innocence and here you are still fooling around with four idiots. Seriously, birds of the same feather flock together."

At the last comment, Allen was already too angry to talk. All he could do was vent his anger on the Akumas but he couldn't stop the thoughts running through his head. _Anger management. Anger Management. Slap him silly. Slap him silly… No no no.. you love him, Allen. It's just Kanda's way of saying 'I am glad you are still in one piece…'_

From that point onwards, it was a close fight between exorcist and Akuma. Since they were attacking, it inevitabily meant they created openings for the Akumas. The night was filled with sounds of the cranking of metal as blade clashed with blade, and claw with claw. But when they least expected it, one of the Akumas attacked his own comrade, piercing through with his sword and into Kanda's chest. Pushing with its body weight, the blade penetrated through Kanda and into Allen. _Shit._

The pain immobilized them both and they collapsed, coughing violently – the ground splattered with their blood. One of the Akumas saw an opening and attacked Allen's side. Allen was only fast enough to stop the second blade from fully slicing through his body as he pushed the Akuma away with the crown belt. Kanda had fallen unconscious and with the tempory break, Allen created a shield around them using his crown belt. It was going to buy them some time so that he could do some damage control.

Tearing apart his uniform, he folded the pieces and placing them over the wound. Strips were then tied securely across the wound to apply pressure on the wound. Hopefully it would be enough to stop the bleeding for a while. The white hair boy had no time to lose, he didn't have enough time to even think properly – Kanda needed urgent medical help...

Looking at Kanda – he formed his resolve to protect... He had failed to protect Mana, and he had failed Narein. He wasn't going to fail Kanda either. Typing a bandage around his torso, he left Kanda with his crown belt.

The young general entered the battlefield again, with his sword of exorcism firmly held in his right hand. Allen charged towards the Akumas, fighting till he lost consciousness. But even in his unconscious state, his innocence continued to fight for him – collapsing only until all four Akumas were destroyed.

When the fighting ceased, Toma quickly left his hiding place and ran towards the fallen exorcists. The two were in urgent need for help.


	4. Bangles

Forgive Me

**Ohayo! I had bits of the 2****nd**** chapter redone; mainly Kanda's thoughts were added in. major changes were highlighted! Kanda's POV only available in maybe chapter 5**

**Bangles.**

When Allen regained consciousness, he could only moan – concentrating on breathing rather than the pain. It felt like his brain was stuffed with wool almost like felt like his brain was disconnected from his body. Turning his head to the sides, his brain would be one beat slower, slowly shifting in his skull to where it should rightfully be. It was weird.

_Urgh.. Where am I? Kanda… Kanda? Where's Kanda?!_

Thoughts of Kanda sent his eyelids flying. Tightening his hold on his torso, Allen propped himself up and surveyed his surrounds – he was lying in an unfamiliar room and sleeping right beside him was a topless Kanda, with bandages across his chest and arms. Looking at the right side of his bed, Allen finally saw a half naked Kanda lying next to him in bed. Allen's face darkened with his blush. Easing himself back into bed, Allen reached out to caress the dark silky strands that had fallen off the pillow.

W_hoa, so this is what Kanda's hair feels like. I could get used to touching these everyday…_

Gently, he brushed aside the bangs to have a better view of Kanda's face. Kanda was just as beautiful when he was asleep but Allen preferred the battlefield version of Kanda – seeing him fight always ignited the fire within him. Sometimes at night, he would dream about Kanda being the one protective of him.

How rare was it for him to watch Kanda sleep in such close proximity. Looking at those soft features, all Allen wanted now was to caress his cheeks and kiss Kanda. But a thought was still a thought.

_No. I wouldn't do that, not even if Kanda is unconscious. I would feel like I am violating him in his sleep… I would never be able to look at him in the eye again…_

At the same moments, Toma decided to enter the room to check on the two exorcists and Allen and been lucky to pull away before the finder noticed. After a general helping of Indian curries, nun and various roasted meat, Allen has his bandages changed before falling back into sleep again…

However this time round, in the comforting the darkness of his dreamless sleep, Allen could faintly feel a presence at the back of his mind, calling to him. _Allen... Allen…_ He spotted a glowing object pulsing, sending a silent message to beckon him to come closer. Reaching out to touching the softly glowing orb, Allen's surrounding darkness was rapidly overwhelmed by the light emitting from the orb. It was so bright; Allen could barely keep his eyes open.

When he got used to the darkness that he was suddenly landed himself in, he could make out a stone walls and the warm glow of a candle light. He was in an underground room and seated near the candle was an old Indian monk.

"Hello Mister Walker. Please come and make yourself comfortable."

"Oh – I know a lot about you, my child. You are a child of God, you have special powers to help others and you can destroy demons that savaged the village."

Allen was really uncomfortable with his surroundings at the moment. He was in an unfamiliar place and he didn't seem to be injured as well. Was that man before him a ghost?! _NNOO!!_ Instantaneously goose bumps crawled on his skin...

"A.. are you a ghost? How do you know who I am? What did you do to my body?!"

Hearing Allen's nervous chatter, the old man couldn't help letting out a hearty laugh. What an adorable boy he was.. Speaking again, the old man replied,

"You can say that I am a ghost, but more accurately, I am a monk who gained enlightenment and so my spirit left my physical body…"

Allen nodded his head, trying to make sense of what the old man said.

"I can tell that you deeply love the man that you are sharing a bed with, at the moment. But he is fatally injured and he is dying soon. I understand that you are looking for a cure for his curse?"

Allen was amazed by how much the old monk knew about the two of them and how he had come to know about his feelings for the other boy. But he couldn't stop blushing like a girl at the mention of them sharing the bed. The old man reached into this sleeves to produce two bangles. Putting onto his palm, he offered it to Allen.

"Takes this bangles, they would be able to help reverse the effects of the curse."

"What are they? And how do they reverse the curse? And.. and why are you doing this?"

"Haha. I can understand your nervousness, but there is no need to be so uptight. Treat them as gifts for saving the village. None of the villages survived but at least you destroyed the demons and prevented them from attacking the next village."

"These bangles have the ability to transfer life force between two beings. The bangle with the round blue crystal is to be worn by the one, receiving the life force. This other bangle on the other hand would be worn by the one who is offering the life force."

"Love is a prerequisite for the bangles to work. You _do_ love the young man, don't you?"

Allen stood like a statute in the room. He hadn't expected to the man to ask him the question. His mind was already working overtime trying to process what the monk was the telling him. Allen merely nodded his head and waited for the old man to continue.

"How am I going to activate it?"

"Life essence would be transferred though skinship." **(1)**

"..."

"Skinship. No. it can't be… "

Allen has spent many years in brothels, and he understood very well what skinship meant. He had a massive knowledge of sex – different position, kinks, fetish, and a lot of things that he wished he didn't know.

"But Kanda and I are both males!"

"Skinship comes in different form, a chaste kiss, just lying together or a passionate hug are forms of skinship. It is not necessary to consummate. Plus you love the boy! It is your chance to save him and love him"

"But I don't think that he does!"

"A gentle reminder, my boy. When two parties truly love each other, the transfer would be faster and greater. Consummating was a very strong form of connection between two individuals. Bonded in the union – the transfer would bypass the bangles and large quantities of life force will directly be transferred into the boy. However, remember not to over do it because if too might life force is transfer in one session, you might die… "

"Ok. I understand but how would I know that I have reached the limit in one session?"

"The bangles would assist you in your job. Once you fasten the bangles around his wrist – it would remain there still you decide to remove them. Because the bangles are enchanted, you are the only person who can see the bangle and only visible to the other party when skinship takes place. When the blue orb on the bangle starts to glow softly – it should be enough."

"You must remember.. Don't over do it."

With these last words, his surroundings began to fade and Allen's eyelids fluttered. He was back in the room again. Continuing to lie on his back, Allen tried to come to terms with what just happened. Slowly pushing himself upright, he saw a silver band hanging on his right wrist while he held a similar one in his left.

In the light of the day, Allen could finally see the details of the silver band. The bangle has simple cravings on it but the most beautiful part of it was the row of sapphire crystals encrusted around the middle.

_So it wasn't a hallucination... The apparition was real…_

Gingerly, Allen placed the bangle on Kanda's left wrist and proceeded to hug Kanda. He wasn't going to care if Kanda was going to smack him for clinging to him in bed. This bit of pain was worth it… Kanda's going to be saved.

Carefully, Allen tucked his head in the nook of Kanda's neck, his head resting just above Kanda's heart. He made a point to swing his left arm cross Kanda's chest while not putting too much weight on the torso, fearing that it would hurt the wounds. Listening to the soft, steady rhythm of Kanda's heart, it lulled Allen into a peaceful sleep. Allen hadn't had the chance to fall asleep in another person's embrace ever since the day Mana died. And a small smile made its way across Allen's face. _So warm…_

He really loved Kanda and he would continue to love him till the day he die.

Footnote:  
**(1)** Skinship: close bonding through physical contact

FireNose: Haha I don't think Akumas have the apparatus to rape anyone. Anyway Allen gradually fell in love with Kanda but he didn't realize it until one fine day… but he is in conflict with himself because he is supposed to place Akumas and humans above his love for his loved ones. That is how I interpreted the episode where Allen's Innocence finally evolved at the Asian Branch. Love for Akuma and humans alike triggered his Innocence, not the love of his friends.

windam2611/Seshka/Ying9: Thanks Thanks! Lol. I will work harder! I love the Yullen pairing to bits. I would love to write fanfictions about them everyday. But exams are knocking at my door. I probably wouldn't update again till next week. )


	5. Touch me

Forgive me

**P/S: I wish to announce that the bangles are now not visible to Kanda. Instead, the spell within the bangle does not allow Allen to tell Kanda the purpose of the bangle - or else it would break the spell and Allen's efforts would come to naught.**

**Touch me**

-Kanda's POV-

Slowly regaining consciousness, Kanda felt himself tense while he tried to orientate himself in his world of darkness. His eyelids were too heavy and he was stiff and sore all over. Moaning to himself, he recalled bits and pieces of their mission. The sneaky son-of-a-bitch Akuma managed to stab him in the chest, causing him to lose consciousness in the middle of a fight.

_Oh no... It can't be – I had to be saved by the midget. How long have I been unconscious?_

But he didn't get much chance to think too long because before he could get his mind functional again, he started falling asleep again. He couldn't help it – not when he was blanketed by a warm darkness and he felt safe enough to let his guard down. Indulging in this rare moment, Kanda felt himself relax.

Normally he would have been on high alert, especially during missions; never letting his guard down enough to be sound asleep. But strangely now it didn't seem to bother him. To hell with all that, he had been unconscious for good knows how long so it wouldn't matter if he continued to play the sleeping beauty for a little while longer. If there is any work to be done, there is always Moyashi. Besides, he felt so tired.

--Normal POV--

On the third morning, Allen left Toma with Kanda, deciding that he was going to stop sleeping in and go walk explore the area around their hotel. Besides his wounds were also not hurting so much anymore, some exercise would aid blood circulation and speed up his recovery. The flea markets were interesting, selling all sorts of things that he had never seen back in Bombay. There were few shops around though and eventually, he spotted a small book store.

He had been to bookstores in Indian before. Narein loved books and sometimes he would accompany his sister when she went to buy medical books for him. His Tamil wasn't strong but he could still converse with the locals. He entered the bookstore and their book quality was modest.

An Indian man sat at a corner snoring away, the side of his mouth twitching once in a while when a pestering housefly attempted to touch down on his moustache. Running his fingers absentmindedly across the lines of books, one of the book's titles caught his attention... _Karma sutra – isn't sutra supposed to mean some holy book?_

Out of curiosity, Allen pulled the book out of place and began browsing. But never in his life had he felt so hot browsing. He didn't know why but he just continued flipping the book, ignoring the warmth spreading across his body and an uncomfortable tightening of his pants. This was just the book he needed.

In the book, were graphics and detailed descriptions on various positions and techniques to be used. Flipping through the book – Allen finally understood that what he used to know was only the tip of the ice berg. He was now holding the encyclopedia of sex.

Clutching the book to his chest, Allen made a decision. He was going to buy the book but he wasn't going to wake the old man up. He was already weird enough being so pale and his white hair making him a sort thumb. He didn't need the attention of an elder, looking at him like he was a pervert. Putting some money on the table, he left the bookstore with the book safely hidden inside the jacket.

Back at the hotel, Allen settled himself on one of the many big cushions in their room and tried studying the book before him. Over the past few days, he had been sleeping beside Allen but it seemed that it wasn't enough. Kanda was healing a little faster but he was still unconscious. Allen wanted to up things a little and this book was going to help him. First chapter in the sutra was about massage, it had various techniques involving the rubbing and kneading the body to reduce pain and stiffness.

_Hmmm... Kanda probably will wake up grumpy and irritated because he is stiff and achy all over. I guess this would help… _

Heading back into the market place, Allen bought a couple of bottled rose sandalwood massage oil. He found the scent relaxing and not too sweet or overpowering, just the thing that Kanda would like.

That night, Allen relieved his finder's task of changing Kanda's bandages and sent him to bed. Locking their bedroom door, Allen prepared himself of the task at hand. Only dressed in his white shirt top and rolled up trousers, Kanda was stripped completely naked with a small white towel covering up the important parts. It wasn't everyday that he could get his sex god completely naked and vulnerable before him and he was very sure he wouldn't be able to concentrate with his eyes wondering.

Removing the offending bandages, the white haired exorcist could see the wounds were nearly 80 healed so Kanda should wake, latest tomorrow morning. Now he could only work on the limbs and the back.

Pouring the massage oil into his right palm, he rubbed the oil between his hands to warm it before placing them on Kanda's shoulder. At this point, Allen wished with all his might, that his left arm was normal. With it being wrinkled and rough, it wouldn't feel good to be massaged by it.

Rubbing and kneading the well-toned body, the young boy couldn't stop the red seeping into his cheeks, he was enjoying this – his hands free to roam on bare skin, enjoying the warmth of Kanda's body. He felt light-headed just thinking that he could be possible he was the first person to touch Kanda's body this way. With that attitude of his, despite his looks, it shouldn't be possible for someone to fall for him, right?

As he continued his massage, he heard Kanda let out a low moan. So _he was enjoying it too.._ The seductive voice of Kanda was moaning so seductively, it was making Allen very hot and bothering, trying to ignore weird images from his mind and the uncomfortable tightening of his pants.

-Kanda's POV-

As, Kanda woke up a second time, he was quick to notice the sensual massage that Allen was giving him and continued to fake his sleep. Allen's rubs and kneads were firm but not painful, skillfully rubbing out the soreness in his limbs. Wherever those hands worked their magic, the stiffness and pain would disappear and in its wake, were relaxed and contented muscles. Allen's firm, slow strokes and the warmth of his palms made it feel so good.

As Allen moved lower to massage his abdomen and the area around his hipbone – Kanda couldn't hold the moan that escaped his lips. His thoughts wondering to what it would feel like to have those skilled hands massage him between his legs.

Upon hearing the moan, Allen stopped momentarily but resumed his course downwards just as quickly. When Allen started working on his inner thighs, the older boy couldn't stop the warmth pooling around his lower regions. The erotic massage was turning him on and he let out another moan; his semi-erect member visible underneath the towel. Peeking at Allen, Kanda chuckled to himself, seeing the boy all flustered, bothered and completely at a loss of what to do. Allen was looking cuter every time he looked at him.

By the end of the massage, he was already hard and aching; his breathes laboured. He knew he was supposed to be faking sleep but the area between his legs was desperate of attention. But what he wasn't expecting, was for Allen to touch him there.

--Normal POV—

After finishing the massage, Allen left to wash the oil off his hands but all he could think about was Kanda on the bed. Returning to the room, the sight of the sex god in bed and his own desire calling out to him was too much for him to bare.

Gingerly Allen started stroking Kanda slowly, trying to commit every part of Kanda's body to memory, by touch. While his hands worked at a faster pace, Allen watched Kanda, seeing the boy's frown and the rapid rise and fall of the torso. All that he could hear was Kanda's laboured breathing. He didn't care if Kanda woke up now, he was going to fulfill his fantasy.

With his firm and quick jerks, it was soon before drops of pearly white surfaced and Allen stopped. Moving himself downwards, Allen licked the pearl droplets, earning another moan from Kanda. Then Allen deep throated Kanda and started a quick pace, bobbing his head up and down while his right hand played with the sacs. Allen's left hand moved southwards towards his own desires and began to stroke in time with his bobbing head.

The sensations that flooded Kanda was just too much; he couldn't stop the involuntary twitching of his body, his laboured breathes and grabbed the bed sheets in desperation. The feeling of slick warmth around him, attracting the build-up of heat was spreading tingling sensations to the tips of his toes. He couldn't take it anymore, with violent tremors and a grunt later, he came; his grip on the bed sheets turning the knuckles white. Kanda's release caught Allen by surprise and with a few more jerks, Allen came too.

Both laid exhausted in bed, riding out the waves of post orgasm high.


	6. Sneak attack part 2

**Sneak Attack part 2**

--Kanda POV—

When Allen tenderly wrapped his fingers around his throbbing limb, Kanda thought he was going to lose it. Bless his quick reflexes to tense and suppress the urge to arch into Allen's touch. His hand was so warm and soft – the feeling was heart-stopping, the sensation heightened as he kept his eyes crossed. In the darkness, his brain could only sense Allen's contact with his skin; the movements in rhythm with the sound of skin rubbing against skin. Time seemed to have stopped for him, just like how he forgotten how to breath.

Part of him couldn't understand why Allen was doing this. The back of his mind told him it was wrong. But every other part of him was telling him, he has never felt so good. Adrenaline was sending tremors through his body and he felt so alive. When he thought he could take no more, Kanda found himself buried in a wet and warm cavern.

If alternating between Allen's warm mouth and the cool of the night air didn't send him over the edge, the sucking felt it feel like Allen was sucking the soul out of his body. Each suck, sending his heart beating a few beats faster, each time, losing a bit of himself. With his release, it granted him relief of the heat and pressure rushing and pool in his nether regions but Allen's mouth never left him. Even as he came, the young boy swallowed the waves of cum and sucked off any remnants.

Kanda was now sure Allen was a demon - he has sucked out his very soul.

Everyone knew Allen has stayed in brothels when he was with Cross but they were all taken in by his innocent face and disarming smile. Who would have guess that Allen was so sexual? But now he knew - the Black Order's latest general was a boy of 16 with raging hormones nonetheless. And he was good.

Exhausting from work not done and body sleek with sweat; Kanda laid in bed enjoying the afterglow of his orgasm. He felt strangely energetic even though his limbs felt like jelly-O. Every part of him was pulsing with the pounding of his heart and the exorcist tried to even out his breathing while peeking at Allen.

Allen was lying on his side limp, face flushed and eyes half lidded with pleasure. The picture Allen now portrayed was one so wanton, Kanda felt like taking him now. Slowly recovering, the general pushed himself up on trembling arms and he inched himself off the bed. If almost seemed that his body was made of lead as he shuffled towards Kanda, to clean and bandage him.

Clearly exhausted, the white haired boy didn't see the raven haired one watching his every move. That night Allen didn't sleep beside Kanda, instead choosing to lie down on the many cushions in a corner. When the older boy woke up the next morning, the smaller boy was still snoring away, curled up into a ball among the cushion.

_He is going to catch a cold sleeping like that, without a blanket._

Without a further thought, the sleeping boy was carried into bed and tucked under the sheets. Easing the boy's head down onto the pillow, the swordsman's hand lingered in the fine silky whiteness of Allen's hair. It felt like baby's hair – light, soft and distinctly sweet. His fingers traced the shell of the boy's left ear, fingering the soft earlobe, cross the jaw line and his fingers finally settled for the cheek.

Repeatedly stroking the cheek with the back of his right index finger, Kanda indulged in the baby softness of the skin, marred by the red scar. His beauty was made more unworldly as the morning sun's soft rays seemed to make the boy glow. He looked totally irresistible. Nuzzling the cheek, Kanda breathed in...

_Even his skin smells this sweet…_

This time cupping the boy's face with both hands, Kanda landed butterfly kisses on Allen's brow, making his way down to each eyelid; cross the bridge of the nose before linger on the pink petals.

_If Allen was going to do a sneak attack on him, he could do it too. _

Leaving a final chaste kiss on the boy's crown, Kanda stood up and left the room, his line of vision stopping brief on the sleeping beauty before he closed the door. He was glad that he had regain consciousness soon enough to experience Allen's _handiwork_. He never knew it was possible to feel so energized after receiving a blowjob. The samurai was pretty sure Allen hadn't tried anything like that before last night, or else he would have been brought back to a state of consciousness much earlier.

Thankfully Allen was still sleep because he didn't know how to face him after last night's events. He was confused by last night's events and even more, by his own feelings. He wasn't disgusted like he thought he would, instead he felt happy. There were so many questions in his mind.

_Why did Allen do it? Does he love me or was he using me as a tool to satisfy his sexual cravings?_

_What should I do if Allen says he likes me? Do I love him?_

_The weird feeling that I am feeling… is it love or lust?_

_I have never known love. I loved nobody and nobody loved him – so would he know how to love Allen back?_

It seems that Allen has started moving the pawns in their little game of love so how is Kanda suppose to move his?

--

A short chapter to make up for the crappy lime I wrote previously. D Hope you liked it!  
R&R. Thanks! This fic was intended for Allen-uke but do you guys prefer Kanda-uke?

Btw, I am still a little new to the fanfiction system so you might find at words the top of each chapter that seem rather out of place. )


	7. Sneak attack part 3

Lying on the bed was Kanda, sleeping and unconscious of the world around

**I am back! Just had my second paper. Damn it sucked. So I am going to relieve stress by writing again! ) and thanks everyone for the reviews. I didn't have time to reply to everyone though!**

**Chapter 6: Sneak attack part 3**

It's already dusk but one sleepyhead was still curled up in bed.

Trapped in his warm cocoon of blankets, Allen knew he should have been awake hours ago but the bed was just too comfortable. The feel of linen and the softness of the mattress felt good. Allen curled his lips into a slight smile - life is good when you get to sleep so much and be lazy once in a while. Kanda's sure to tease him about it if he were awake. Stretching himself, he tried to get more of the intoxicating warmth of the bed.

_Bed? Didn't I spend the night sleeping on the cushions? How did I get into bed? Kanda. Where's Kanda?_

The sleepyhead was sleepy no more. Stretching both hands to either sides of the bed, he realized that he was all alone in bed – Kanda was missing. _Does that mean that Kanda had regained consciousness?_ He sat up quickly to catch a glimpse of Kanda but the only living being in the room was him. Oh. OH. OH!!

"AHH! TOMA!! Where are you? Oh dear… Kanda's missing! Where's Kanda!!"

Toma ran into the room as quickly as he could upon hearing the shriek of terror; only to see their cute general panicking over Kanda's absence. "Oh there is not need to worry. Kanda-san woke up early this morning and he left the inn for a walk. He said something about all that sleep was going to make him stupid like you."

Toma said the last comment in such a matter-of-fact manner – it was like it was the most natural thing to say. Both stared at each other for a brief second before Toma realized what he just said. "Oh. Oh - I am sure I must have heard wrongly. Oh dear, I must remove all these bandages from my head at once. Damn - they make me hear the weirdest things…"

Allen just sat in bed, sulking with a pout and arms folded across his chest in the most childish manner. Clearly Allen wasn't listening to his excuses and things were going to be weird if he stayed any longer. "I am going to get you your dinner, everything on the menu as usual?"

Allen still wasn't responding to him and the finder decided that silence meant consent. The finder left the room for the kitchen. The days ahead are going to get really noisy.

Meanwhile, Allen couldn't help sulking at Toma's last comment. To think that he was doing all he could to save Kanda and Kanda still thinks he is stupid and everything… Scratching his head in frustration, Allen let out a growl because the whole issue was just making him so mad! Flopping back into the bed, the childish young man continued to sulk. But lying in that bed made him remember what he had done to get himself so tired in the first place. Allen buried his face into the bed to hide his tomato face – he had managed to give THE Kanda a blowjob and actually survived.

It was the first time he had done something so ecchi (1). He might have stayed with a womanizing general and frequented many brothels but he never did anything more than observe the action. He hadn't tried touching himself either because he simply didn't understand what the big fuss about sex was! But now he knew. The warmth from Kanda, his scent, and his feel. Just recalling details of last night got him hot and bothered. Not to mention, his pants were getting tight again. This whole skinship business was making him so darn horny!

But he liked the feeling. The feeling of being so intimate with his object of affections and being able to make him moan like that. He was secretly happy and a little proud of himself. Like hell, Kanda would moan in pleasure when he was conscious, much less in his presence. At that thought, the boy couldn't suppress a giggle that escaped him. The black order's resident ice berg is melting! When Toma returned from the kitchen, he was taken aback by a grinning Allen, with a light blush dusting his cheeks. _Wasn't he sulking just now? Whoa. Allen acts just like a woman – so fickle._

As Allen ate his dinner, he decided that he was going to try something else tonight. He was properly fed and fully rested so he was ready for another transfer.

--

Shortly before nightfall, Kanda was back at the inn and having his dinner in the cafeteria. But unknown to the samurai, his dinner was laced with a sleeping drug. It was the only way Allen could touch Kanda again but he had to make sure he didn't add too much. Kanda was never one to wake later than daybreak.

After a quick bath, a clearly exhausted Kanda made his way to bed while Allen tried desperately to pretend that everything was normal. Allen had avoided Kanda the moment he set foot into the inn and it was tough pretending, when you are trying to pull the greatest trickery on a man like Kanda. Allen waited for an hour and a half before stepping into their shared bedroom. He had sent Toma on an errand again and made sure it was one where he wouldn't return till next morning. He didn't want to be caught in a compromising position with Kanda. It was too much embarrassment for him to take.

The deep, rhtyhmatic breathes was all Allen needed to know that the samurai was asleep. Gingerly climbing onto the bed and straddling the sleeping boy, Allen fingered the hem of Kanda's trousers before slipped his hands underneath the flimsy shirt to caress the taut stomach muscles. _Hmmm._ The feel of Kanda's warmth and gentle contours of the muscles was enough to make Allen light-headed. Relishing the feel of the hard muscles – Allen made a quick work of their clothes and soon, it was two naked bodies lying in bed.

Since Kanda was drugged, it made Allen more adventurous; more daring. _Chances of Kanda was lowered to the minimum right?_ Allen's mind had no need for words of caution as his vision and mind were preoccupied with the body before him. He might have given him a massage last night but the view from there was different. The way that Kanda's head was tilted sideways; his face so peaceful and innocent; his bangs slightly shadowing his eyes – it created an illusion of a bashful Kanda. Allen felt like cupid had shot him with a hundred arrows. _Kanda looked… simply delicious._

Lying flush on Kanda, he planted a gentle kiss on the lovely lips, as if he was afraid to break the serenity of Kanda's sleep. His kisses grew more passionate than the last and he laced their fingers together as he deepened the kiss for a taste of Kanda. Finally stopping to catch his breath, he couldn't help smiling at the sight of those swollen lips. Placing his head on the familiar place in the nook of Kanda's neck, Allen took a brief moment to enjoy the intoxicating drug. Kanda was his drug and he was addicted.

_His body is so warm and I can hear his heart beat. Thump thump thump..._

Allen was taking his time with Kanda because he wasn't sure when he would be able to touch him like that again. They would be leaving for China tomorrow night. Allen liked the feeling of holding Kanda's hands because his hands were large and manly, just like every part of him. But his fingers were slim and elegant. He couldn't stop smiling to himself. Kanda was a perfect man and now the world's most perfect man was lying naked beneath him. But the general didn't have all the time in the world. Knees resting next to the other's hips, Allen started grinding his hip against Kanda's.

_OH GOD. This is just too good. Uunhh. It's even better than last night._

Kanda felt so hot against his skin and the feeling so heavenly, and his body turned to jelly-O. Steadying himself, he placed both is palms on Kanda's stomach and continued grinding, wanting more of the delicious friction. He had to bite his lips to stop a moan from escaping; he was too shy to moan. And he didn't want to wake Kanda either.

But Allen couldn't be satisfied with mere grinding - he was desperate for more intense contact, more of everything Kanda. The young boy wrapped his hand around their lengths, forcing them closer. The trembling boy could no longer hold back his whimpers the pressure and heat was reaching unbearable heights. Allen began trusting into his hand and the increased friction and heat made him stop as quickly as he started. His body was trembling with anticipation and pleasure. Allen felt like he was ready to come right now but he held on. He couldn't do it without Kanda.

_Ahh... It feels so good, I just wanna cry... God… Kanda._

Breathing hard, the boy concentrated on trusting rhythmically into his hand and focused his attention on Kanda. He was going to make Kanda feel wonderful again and he was going to make him moan. Kanda, despite not moving, was sleek with sweat and his sleeping face disturbed by a slight frown. The samurai was already breathing heavily and the younger boy quickened his trusts. Adjusting his hold, he ran his index finger over the tip of the other's length and it earned him Kanda's first moan of the night. Allen simply smiled.

The pre-cum that coated their lengths helped lubricate and the trusts came faster and harder. _Ahh... nnghh… Kanda…_ _haa... haa…_ Stomach muscles contracting, the general knew he was nearing the edge and tightened his grip to stop himself from coming. Jerking his hips and hands in a rapid frenzy, the pleasure was bordering on pain and all he could do was moan and whimper between breaths. The beautiful moans Kanda made were making it harder for him to hold on. Desperately holding onto the bed sheet, the young boy wanted very badly to wait for Kanda but he wasn't sure if he could hold on any longer.

"Ngh... Ka… Kanda… Oh god... ah…"

Finally Kanda came, spilling ribbons of milky white across their chest and stomach. Allen released his grip and came as he arched his back. He didn't hold back his scream this time as pleasure and pain flooded his system. Collapsing on the samurai, Allen linked his right hand with Kanda's left. The crystals on the bangles shining a beautiful blue. "I did it again." Allen said with a tired smile. The transfer of life force had already taken place and he could lie on Kanda while he rested_._ Lying flush against him; enjoying every inch of skin that he was in contact with – Allen wished it could last forever. It was just fantastic as much it was exhausting.

Too exhausted, he had failed to notice the older boy stirring. Not until he left a hand on his neck, cupping the base of his skull.

_Shit._

(1) Ecchi: perverted; sex-related


	8. Trust me

**My first Lemon. )**

_Too exhausted, he had failed to notice the older boy stirring. Not until he left a hand on his neck, cupping the base of his skull._

_Shit. _

**Chapter 7: Trust me**

The room was quiet and the only sound Allen could hear was the thumping of his heart, beating hard and fast. The boy made no move to react to the touch as he lay motionless on Kanda's chest – waiting for a sign, anything to tell him that everything was fine. If he moved – he might miss it. _Maybe Kanda didn't wake up and he had only subconsciously moved his arm so there wasn't anything to worry about._ The boy exorcist didn't want to lift his head to confirm his thoughts; he didn't want to face a reality that would reflect otherwise.

"Moyashi"

_Oh my god. He's really awake. Damn it - the drug wasn't enough. This is it – my life is going to end. Kanda is really going to drive Mugen into my body so many times; I am going to look like Swiss cheese._

His head was already spinning - unable to comprehend the fact that Kanda was awake. If being caught for something like that was bad; his brain refusing to function to save his life was even worse. What was he going to do? What was he going to say?

"What the hell do you think you were doing?"

It was a question that Allen didn't know how to respond to – tell Kanda that he had placed a magic bangle on their wrists and if they performed skinship, it was going to help Kanda regain life force? He couldn't do it because that would break the spell. Even attempting to tell him the truth wouldn't help with the situation because Kanda just wasn't going to buy it. Who would believe something like that? Even fools wouldn't, so why would Kanda believe him?

_Maybe I should confess that I love him… at least it was the truth, right?_

Allen didn't want to lie, so it was the only answer that he could give, though not one that would help to appease the anger in Kanda. Technically, he hadn't raped Kanda but it was close; and for a man as proud as Kanda – the humiliation would only crush his pride. Kanda couldn't have known about the first night but the evidence of what he had done just moment ago was more than enough for Kanda to piece things together. If someone had done such perverted things to him while he was unconscious, damn, Allen would have felt so wretched and tainted. The fact that his assaulter was also male was enough to increase the shame by tenfold. Sexual assault was a crime punishable by death and if he wasn't prosecuted, then he would definitely die by the hands of Kanda.

He had turned himself into Kanda's nemesis and all Allen wanted to do was save Kanda.

Kanda wanted answers that Allen wasn't giving and he wasn't a patient man. Tightening his grip, he lifted Allen away from him and pulled the boy's head back so he could get a better look of the boy. Allen grimaced and let out a yelp as he was forced to arch painfully; exposing his flushed body and neck. Kanda had regained consciousness quickly as his body was tingling with sensations. The delicious heat in his nether regions had beckoned him to awaken and when he woke – Allen had been too far gone to notice. But he could distinctly hear Allen moaning his name in between his pants. The way Allen moaned and begged, calling his name in desperation while conducting another of his sexual adventures meant that Allen was fantasizing about him? He was very sure he had been drugged so it meant that Allen had been prepared._ Does that mean Allen lusts for him?_ _Had he done it with others before?_ The thoughts and confusion that had plagued him since morning made him even more frustrated.

"I… I was just… The truth is…"

His awkward position and the tight grip made it hard to talk and swallow. His hands not being able to support his body without touching Kanda and he was sure Kanda wouldn't want him touching any part of his body. With Kanda's eyes burning into his, Allen wanted to shy away, wanted to hide but the grip on his neck prevented him from escaping. The white haired exorcist was at the mercy of the other and he had nowhere to run. He couldn't fight and run either because he was already drained from the earlier energy transfer. He could only look at Kanda helplessly.

"I am still waiting for an answer"

"I am sorry, Kanda. I-I really am."

"That's not what I wanted to hear, bean sprout. I don't want apologies – I want answers! Damn it!! Answers!!"

"What am I to you – a sex toy?"

"Of course not! Please listen, Kanda! I am not doing all this for myself. I-I…"

"If it wasn't for yourself, then you were trying to help me relieve sexual tension?" - A sentence laced with sarcasm.

"I am sorry Kanda. But it's a secret and I can't tell you. But you have got to believe me!"

"Then it must have been the same secret reason why you did it to me last night too."

"Y-You k-knew!?"

"I was awake from the start till the end – I have to say, your hands and mouth work wonders. You must have been practicing a lot huh? Who else did you do it with? Lavi? Krory? Even Komui too?"

"No Kanda! Please… It's not what it seems… You have got to trust me! Really - I swear! I…"

Allen could only sob the same words over and over again. But Kanda's look of disgust and anger shut him up. Kanda always thought very lowly of him and now, he must think him as the most despicable creature on earth. Nothing he said now was going to redeem himself. He closed his eyes to shut out the image of Kanda; he let his tears of sorrow fall freely down his cheek.

Suddenly Allen felt himself being pulled towards Kanda and his eyes widened in shock as he felt his lips being bitten and sucked at. Kanda was kissing him so hard and rough – the raw passionate in the kiss confused him. He tried to break off the kiss but Kanda held his head in place. Realizing he couldn't move his face away, the exhausted boy submitted himself to Kanda's administrations, letting him invade his mouth and suck at his tongue. It seems that Kanda was a good kisser because it felt good and it made him feel warm. When they broke the kiss, Allen could only pant and gasp, his own body lying flush on Kanda's again.

He gazed into Kanda's eyes, his mind unable to decipher the look in those eyes. Those eyes that were staring at him looked so confused and torn. But shouldn't Kanda be feeling angry? Then why the kiss? Allen had been staring at those eyes that he didn't notice Kanda pulling him in for another kiss. But this kiss was different. Kanda seemed to be tasting him – kissing; sucking; biting; licking across his jaw and down his neck. He couldn't understand why Kanda was doing it but he wasn't going to stop. Since he was a child, nobody liked to be in his presence so it was rare that anyone touched him. Now someone was touching him like this – it felt wonderful, he felt loved.

So immersed in the moment that he gasped in surprise when Kanda kissed one of his pink erect nubs. Alternating between flicking and sucking gently till it was sore, Kanda then moved his tongue around the nub in a repeated process whilst one of his hands gently tweaking the other. Allen could only whimpered and moaned at Kanda's teasing, his hands holding onto Kanda, fearing that the boy would drop him any moment. The general was clearly enjoying Kanda's service.

When everything finally stopped, it took the flushed boy a moment to notice that Kanda was staring at him again. His brain so hazy from sexual pleasure that he had forgotten what had happened in the first place. Allen only blushed under Kanda's intense glare.

"Kanda…"

"Slut" the older exorcist spat into Allen's face.

Allen's eyes widened upon hearing the word – breaking the haze. Kanda had called him slut and it made his heart wrench. He wasn't a slut! He didn't perform sexual acts for recreation and he had simply been transferring his life force into Kanda. But his method was rather unorthodox and he had no way to defend himself. It wasn't his intention to take advantage of Kanda and it hurt even more to know that he had thought of him that way. At some point, Allen thought that Kanda would trust him.

-LEMON STARTS HERE-

Throwing the parasite-user on to the bed, Kanda pinned Allen's hands above his head with his left hand while his right moved south along Allen's body. Squeezing the balls and rubbing the tip of Allen's length; Kanda worked to make Allen moan and beg, his vision never leaving Allen's face…

"Unh… Ka-Kanda… haa. Haa ah"

Fisting Allen, Kanda set a fast pace, moving along his length, sometimes teasing the tip to earn him a breathless whimper. Quickly speeding up, the swordsman would suddenly slow down when it grew unbearably hot and tighten his grip; speeding up again after several moments. Allen on the hand could only squirm and endure the teasing, his face scrunched up in an attempt to hold it in. Finally Allen's manhood was weeping tears of pearl and satisfied with his handiwork, Kanda gently pushed legs apart and set himself between those legs. Lifting Allen up slightly, Kanda parted those taut butt cheeks and aligned himself. Allen's eyes widened in shock when he realized what Kanda intended to do. The general shook, eyes filled with fear and dread.

"Kanda! Stop! You can't, I will-…" There was no way he could finished the sentence.

"Why can't I, Allen Walker? You had your fun so now it's my turn."

"Kanda… Please… "

Without preparing Allen, Kanda shoved himself in with a savage thrust, burying himself to the hilt. Allen screamed as he tried to arch himself away but Kanda held him down firmly by the hips. _God - it hurts so much! _Not waiting for Allen to get use to him, Kanda withdrew almost completely and trusting to the boy with full force. Allen momentary lost his voice as his body went rigid with pain; attempting to stop the large object from invading the small hole further. But it was useless as Kanda continued pounding into him deeper, farther. The pain was so overwhelming and his body so tensed – he couldn't breathe.

"P-Please… Ah. Ta-Take it out. I'm splitting – I-I am splitting in HALF!"

Crushing up against his prostate, Kanda made to hit the very spot with each subsequent trust. Kanda probably didn't know – but Allen's muscles were being ripped apart from the inside and with no lubricant, every movement that Kanda made was pure agony for him. The friction and heat on the torn muscles made him sensitive to every movement. Allen couldn't stop the tears from flowing; he wasn't even conscious that he was crying. All the tears that he cried couldn't wash away his pain and humiliation.

"Nng…unh…no,"

Allen felt more tears of humiliation escaping his eyes, his body shaking and small sobs filled the night. He stopped struggling because he knew it was futile and he deserved this – it was payback so he should accept his fate. All he could do was pray that he had sufficient life force to last him through, if not, he would die. Gradually, he didn't have enough strength left in him to scream. He could only lie on the bed, his body trembling. The pain was quickly overtaken by the pleasurable sensations. Kanda released Allen's arms and brought Allen up for another breathless kiss. When they broke the kiss, Allen took his time to observe Kanda.

Kanda's body and face were flushed and covered by a thin layer of sweat. The tinge of pink on the pale skin made Kanda seem more beautiful then ever. Maybe it was the soft glow of the light? Some of his luxurious hair stuck to his body while the rest were swaying with every trust. Kanda's handsome face held an expression that Allen had never seen before. His soft lips parted as he panted in time with each trust. His brows were knotted in concentration – his eyes always looking at him, only at him. The way Kanda was looking at him was like he was caressing him with his eyes. Gazing into each other's eyes – time seemed to stop and the world ceased to exist. What's real was what's before them – at this point, Kanda was his. Staring at Kanda, he had forgotten to cry.

Kanda really was very beautiful – Allen thought to himself. _Kireii_

Allen made a decision at that moment – a very important decision: he was going to give Kanda his all. It was highly possible that he would die after tonight and if he was going to die – he wanted to die without regrets. This was his last memory. Miraculously, he found the strength to reach up to caress Kanda's face – trying to commit his face to his memory by touch. If the last thing that he ever saw was Kanda's beautiful face, it wasn't too bad.

_Over-doing it could cost you your life... You only have so much life force in your body._

Allen was throwing caution to the wind. He was prepared to give up his life for Kanda. Kanda probably wouldn't care but the general was contented to help the samurai this way. He was going to enjoy these last moments on earth but with each trust, every breathe seemed harder; every moment, he seemed to feel weaker. He was now transferring life force into Kanda directly and he was quickly draining him of any strength, making him light headed. His vision was already going fuzzy. Resting his hands on Kanda's forearm – the contact with Kanda was Allen's signal that he was still alive. Soon he wouldn't be able to feel anything…

Allen shuddered as he neared his limit, his breaths coming in pained gasps, short and irregular. Kanda was reaching his limit too, as his trust few more frantic. Leaning forward, Kanda gave Allen a sensual kiss before grapping Allen's hips to pull in for a harder trust. The two were on a mad dash to the finish line.

"No... Kan-da... no more… ple-ase"

"P-Please, Kanda_…_ I c-can't… t-take any-"

For his final trust, Kanda almost withdraw completely and slammed into Allen, while pulling Allen to meet with his trust. Kanda had hitting the prostate head-on, leaning his weight forward so that he could reach as far into Allen as he could. They came together as Allen's muscles clenched around Kanda, bringing him further inside him.

"KKKAAANNNNDDDAAA"

"AAALLEENN"

Kanda groaned as he found his release. Surprisingly, the white haired exoricist still found the strength to arch his body off the bed. The feel of Kanda's seed so hot, flooding his inside was enough to send his brain into shock. Slumping breathlessly onto Allen, The young boy's eyes were closed in exhaustion, his every breath a wheeze. But he managed to utter his last words to Kanda.

"I love you - Kanda." Allen breathed into Kanda's ear.

Kanda's only indication that he heard was…

"hmmmm…"

--

Finally! A very long chapter and a lemon! I spent two days on this so please review after reading ok? As you can see, Kanda doesn't seem to want to talk much during sex – he is a man of action. Lol. Hopefully you were satisfied with the lemon though. I think my limes are more sexual than my lemons – weird. Hahaha.


	9. Calm before the storm

After a very long hiatus! I am back! Woohoo! I am trying to rush chapter 9 & 10 by this week because when I start my holiday job – I might not have the time to write regularly. D

I have to say – I AM SO EMBARRESSED TO KNOW THAT I MISSPELLED THRUST AS TRUST. Hahaha – I think everyone's laughing at me. So I am going to make sure that I don't write till the wee hours of the morning and save myself from embarrassing mistakes.

Short chapter. ENJOY!

--previously--

_The young boy's eyes were closed in exhaustion, his every breath a wheeze. But he managed to utter his last words to Kanda._

"_I love you - Kanda." Allen breathed into Kanda's ear._

_Kanda's only indication that he heard was…_

"_hmmmm…"_

**Chapter 8: Calm before the storm**

The morning after was wonderful, with the sun's morning rays slowly sneaking into the room and filling it with its warmth. A jasmine-scented breeze lifted snowy curtains gently into the air and that same breeze was caressing the skin of the couple lying in bed. A raven-haired teen was lying on his left side, his head half buried in snowy hair and his right arm parked carelessly across the chest of the younger boy. Meanwhile, the youngster was on his back and using the other's left arm as a pillow, head tilted towards the older male. They had gone fallen asleep in that position, breathing in each other's scent.

It wasn't long before the sleeping beauties were basking in the warm rays. Perhaps disturbed by the heat from the rays, Kanda was slowly awaking and taking his time to return to reality.

"hmm. What time is it alre…"

He fluttered his eyes opened before shutting them again to avoid the glare of the sun. Doing something very out-of-character, he pulled Allen into a tighter embrace and snuggled closer to indulge himself in the physical contact. Now, he was contented to just sleep in and enjoy the comforting warmth. Furthermore he didn't feel like getting up at the moment and be away from Allen. _It feels good to sleep in – maybe I should do it more often._

Thinking back on last night's events – Kanda started feeling all hot and bothered again. The memories of Allen doing perverted things to him; of Allen's innocent face contorting in absolute pleasure and pain; the sweet smell of Allen; the voice of Allen moaning, whimpering and begging; the feel of Allen, so warm and tight, squeezing him was enough to make his blood rush to his nether regions.

He didn't expected Allen to attempt anything so soon and he was still confused about the whole situation. But this time, Kanda took his chances - he wasn't going to wait till he sorted out what Allen's feelings for him, or his motives were or what he felt for the bean sprout. He was going to have his share of fun and talk things over later. But it didn't stop him from having those random thoughts.

Who else had been before him? Lavi? Komui? People he didn't even know?

How much experience did he have? How did he learn to work his mouth and hands so well?

Was Allen going to compare him with the others? Skill? Size? Stamina?

Kanda always perceived sex to become something special between lovers. But if Allen had many before him – be it for love or lust; it was still slutty behaviour to Kanda. And the way Allen was acting so wantonly. Was he always acted like that to everyone who bedded him? It just wasn't acceptable to Kanda. _Slut._

Anyway, Allen should be honored because it was his – he, Kanda Yuu, the perfect man was sharing his first experience with Allen. Though on second thoughts, he should have prepared Allen first because he faintly remembered the gossip folks saying how it hurt like hell if they attempted to go in dry. Kanda was feeling the slightest hint of guilt but he figured out it was nothing Allen couldn't bear with since he definitely had been through worse on battlefields.

Sex was so foreign to Kanda, a subject that he had yet to gain sufficient knowledge on. But one thing he was sure – it was good, electrifying; he had never felt so alive. In fact, he had never felt better. The blood and adrenaline racing through his veins, Allen's voice and skin was estacy to him, being so intimate with another human being made him feel complete. Every thrust into Allen triggered a wave of sensations to the tips of the fingers and toes. Hearing Allen whimper and moan his name made Kanda feel invincible.

Opening his eyes for a second time, he gazed at the sleeping form beneath him – as Kanda was lost in his thoughts. Kanda would never admit but he never gets tired of Allen - picking on him, getting physical, threatening and sometimes ignoring him was just done on purpose. Allen was interesting when he wasn't annoying. If his thoughts were revolving around Allen, he would never get bored.

Now Kanda was wondering how Aallen could look so lost to his surrounds and be sleeping so peacefully. _Stupid naive moyashi. How can he sleep so peaceful, enemy could be lurking at every corner!_ More importantly, he managed to catch Allen's little confession…

"_I love you - Kanda…"_

It was barely a whisper but Kanda caught it anyway – and he only acknowledged that he had heard it. He couldn't give Allen a proper response because he wasn't done sorting out anything. _Maybe later._ He was attracted to that bean sprout but he was pretty sure it wasn't LOVE. But he was secretly happy that naïve idiot had courage to confess to him because it did answer some of his question while creating new ones. Did Allen really love him? or did he say it a the heat of the moment?

Gently easing Allen's bed off his arm and onto the pillow Kanda slipped out of bed, when he noticed the blood stained sheets. _Oops – my bad. It must have hurt_. Kanda made a mental note to get Allen's breakfast-in-bed to compensate him somewhat but hell, he wasn't going to apologise. Swiftly tying up his hair into a ponytail after his bath, the lanky teen slipped his exorcist uniform over his shoulder and settled down for breakfast. Allen was still asleep without a care for the world.

Even when Kanda returned to their room with plates of Allen's breakfast balanced on his tray – Allen was still lying in his bed. _That lazybum…_

"Oi, Moyashi. Get out of bed already. Oi. Che."

"Old man – stopping sleeping because it makes you stupid. I brought you breakfast – If you can't think, I am very sure you can still smell!"

Using Mugen to jab Allen's side again and again, each jab harder than the last; Allen managed to remain motionless. By now, panic bells starting to ring in Kanda's mind. This wasn't right. Something's wrong… The older teen rushed to Allen's side and the first thing that hit him was how cold Allen's hands were. Over the span of 1 hour – Allen's temperature had dropped drastically and only traces of warmth could be detected on Allen's torso. Kanda's repeated shakes and calls to wake up drew no response from the sleeping teen.

Allen heartbeat was also slow and erratic. 1……2…3………1……2………3…1……2…3……

On closer inspection, Allen's lips were also turning blue. Placing his ear near Allen's mouth, Kanda could only hear the faintest sound of breathing. Any pressure on his chest was enough to stop his breathing.

If this continued, lack of oxygen was going to lead to brain damage. With all this information clogging up his brain – his mind was in a chaos. What had gone wrong? At his rate, Allen's going to die… What was he going to do?

What had he done?


	10. Truth be told

**Chapter 9: Truth be told**

People always said that there were a million and one ways to die but only one way to live.

Death comes easily for some – a stab in the heart, drinking poison, illness, drowning, being thrown over a cliff or slitting the wrist. For some, they never seem to die even when they are rubbing shoulders with death everyday but they cannot escape forever. Truth is - there is never a day where no one dies on Earth. However in order to live, all creatures must fight to survive – there is just no other way. Everyone dies but not everyone lives.

To this exorcist who had faced death numerous times, dying is the finale for any mortal's life. One day he would die too, when his lotus withers and he wouldn't have to wait very long either. His duty as an exorcist forces him to face death in every mission and he accepts this fate in the same manner as he views death. There is no running away from the inevitable and he was not one to fear death. But he is also a firm believer that you could control fate with your own hands. But now as he watched life slowly seep out of the small body, Kanda wasn't so sure.

If you could control fate with your own hands, then he should be able to save his partner from his impending death. He had only left Allen alone for less than an hour and Allen didn't look like he was disturbed in his sleep. _A poisoned dart? Gas? What!!_ With no visible injury or clue on the source of the problem, how was he going to save Allen? The exorcist frantically searched every inch of Allen's body for a clue – a needle hole, bruises, signs of struggle, anything!! But the bed was in a mess after all, semen and blood staining the sheets. The bruises on Allen's hips resembled the effects of last night's lovemaking and the blood under Allen's nails were already dried and it was probably his own.

The Japanese teen cursed under his breath – what now?

Kanda did the only thing he could think of – CPR. If he couldn't save Allen, the least he could do was to minimize the damage and wait for Toma's return. Scooping Allen out of bed and onto the floor, Kanda started pumping to a rhythm. _.5. Breath. .5. Breath._ At least, oxygen was entering Allen's body. But it didn't stop complex emotions from flooding his system and he couldn't make these emotions go away. Anxiety. Worry. Guilt. Hope. Dread. Fear. Why was he having so many weird emotions that he never felt before? Why was Allen dying, making his mind feel like its going crazy?

_Allen's dying… and there is nothing I can do to stop it._

"OI! Moyashi you had better wake up this instance. It's not funny alright."

"…"

"Idiot, which exorcist dies in bed? It's the most unglamorous way to die and it's stupid. Open your eyes now."

"…"

"Hey old man. Just wake up already. I will let you have the bed the next mission."

"…"

"Make it four missions."

"…"

"Fine – for all future missions that we go on together. So just open your eyes, goddamnit!"

Kanda never expected Allen to really die – at least not in his lifetime because he was just too tough for it. Allen, the destroyer of time, was always viewed as God's favourite and he had a duty to fulfill – so he wouldn't die so easily right? True – he always threatened to drive Mugen into Allen and kill him for being so goddam annoying but it was just a natural thing to do. Moyashi was stupid, idiotic and clumsy but he was no push-over. That is why he could always count on Allen to liven up his day, to retaliate whenever he made fun of him. Even during their battles, Allen always survived the most severe injuries. He must have taken Allen's strength for granted because Allen was human too, and all humans will die someday.

The raven haired samurai was throwing every insult at Allen and calling out to him as he pumped but never once did the unconscious boy respond. He couldn't be sure if the unconscious could hear but Kanda still hoped that somehow he heard him and woke up. Then everything will be normal again. If Allen was alive, then maybe they can pretended that they never had sex, maybe he could pretend that he didn't hear Allen say 'I LOVE YOU' and maybe they could go back to being the bickering partners of the Black Order. Kanda was not ready for anything to change. He was only beginning to get used to this human being named Allen Walker.

His mind chose this moment to recall memories of times spent with Allen.

There was a time when the both of them crossed to the English countryside on their way for a mission when they reached fields of dandelions. The ever-childish general made a beeline for the fields – jumping around and swinging his arms wildly to dislodge the seeds from the plant. Kanda only stood on the dirt path watching him play. By right, he should have been extremely angry and walked off but he stayed. Kanda stood his ground and muttered curses and complained to himself how childish and extremely irresponsible that general was – he was wasting his precious time.

But Allen looked like the happiest person alive and he didn't have the heart to burst his little happy bubble. There weren't many days that an exorcist could be so carefree when the final battle is drawing near. And a happy Allen wasn't awful to look at, it was actually very interesting to see Allen's expressive face light up at the sight of dandelion swirling in the air with every gust of wind. To hear him giggle and laugh as the furry seeds tickle his neck as they brush pass. Yup – Kanda loved standing in a corner to observe Allen.

Another time, they were in Kanda's homeland and spent a night at an onsen inn. Allen had been over enthusiastic about going to the hot springs and rushed to the onsen the moment he had the chance. When he noticed that the shorter boy had been missing for nearly an hour, he rushed to the hot spring only to find Allen, almost under the waters – passed out. Kanda's heart almost stopped. He really thought Allen was a goner but that bean sprout was like his nickname - resilient. He managed to escape death again and Kanda truly felt that there was no other more fitting nickname for that boy.

But that stupid boy was too sick from the heat and was feverish the whole night. Kanda had to spend a whole night trying to help him cool down and listen to the hungry boy mumble about curry, omelette, fruit tarts and cheese burgers. Listening to the endless talk about food made Kanda nauseous but he endured it all. The whole night Kanda never got a wink of sleep – dutifully cooling the boy with a fan and caressing the boy's flustered body with a damp cloth. It wasn't so bad looking after the idiot. He was cute when he wanted to be.

There was another particular mission that ended horribly. Both of them managed to break an arm each – Allen's right and Kanda's left. When they returned to the HQ, the nurse had forced them to wear a protective guard over their arms to make sure the bones fused properly and to prevent further injury to the limb. So both exorcists had to stay in bed with four 50cm rods encasing their broken arm.

In the infirmary, Allen was twirling a pen out of boredom when it dropped onto the floor. When Allen tried to reach the pen without getting out of bed, he only managed to fall off the bed and land face first. Kanda laughed out loud and relentlessly teased the bean sprout for being so clumsy and useless. In an anger fit, Allen smacked the side of Kanda's head with the broken arm. It got Kanda really angry because it really hurt when the wooden rod hit his head and in revenge, Kanda smacked Allen's head with his broken arm too. From that point onwards, it was a bitch fight as hands were grabbing hair, legs kicking and jabbing into ribs and the constant knocking of wood against skull.

They only managed to cease fighting when the nurse came in to check on the commotion. At the end of the day, the two of them accumulated a whole lot of bruises and a swollen ear. Allen always manages to bring out the childish side of Kanda and Kanda wouldn't be able to bare not retaliating.

Reflecting on these, Kanda realizes that he can't do without Allen. He might not know what he felts for Allen but he definitely can't do without him. He might say that he hated Allen 1001 times but Allen had changed his life. Kanda now had something other than work to occupy his mind with. He was more human whenever he was with Allen and Kanda didn't want that to change.

He wasn't afraid of dying but he was afraid that he might lose Allen. It was impossible for him to go back to the lifestyle he had before because without Allen, life would be missing something. Fear of losing Allen forever only made Kanda pump more forcefully, sweat was running down his face and he panted with every pump. His body was already aching from repeatedly pressing down on Allen's chest.

"ALLEN"

-slap-

Straddling Allen, Kanda was frantically pumping the other boy's chest, brows frowning in frustration. Nothing he said or did was getting a response and the anxiety within Kanda was growing. Every moment that passed only reconfirmed the fact that Allen was on the verge of death. Slapping Allen had been his last resort… now he had run out of ideas. He was desperately trying to rescue Allen from the clutches of death.

At this moment, Toma returned to the hotel only to find Allen naked on the floor and a sweaty and red-faced Kanda straddling Allen, hands on the other boy's chest, ferociously pumping away. Toma was shell-shocked for a moment because on first impression, both exorcists were in a very compromising position. But the desperation and distress evident on Kanda's face didn't go unnoticed either.

"G-Get the doc-tor… Allen's dying…"

Without a missing a beat, Toma flew out of the room again and rushed to get the doctor. As Toma ran down the streets of Bombay, he couldn't help thinking how pitiful that their general was dying. The boy wouldn't live to hold his eighteenth birthday party.


	11. You Lie!

Hey Yo

Hey Yo! Kowtows for the reviews and I learnt something new! I know I was supposed to update 10,000 years ago but my laptop crashed once again! Sorry! So on this precious weekend where my brother is away – I am borrowing his desktop to write. Are you touched? Hee hee. I woke up really early so that I have a lot to time to write. Enough ranting – let the story start…

--

_Previously…_

_At this moment, Toma returned to the hotel only to find Allen naked on the floor and a sweaty and red-faced Kanda straddling Allen, hands on the other boy's chest, ferociously pumping away. Toma was shell-shocked for a moment because on first impression, both exorcists were in a very compromising position. But the desperation and distress evident on Kanda's face didn't go unnoticed either._

"_G-Get the doc-tor… Allen's dying…"_

_Without a missing a beat, Toma flew out of the room again and rushed to get the doctor. As Toma ran down the streets of Bombay, he couldn't help thinking how pitiful that their general was dying. The boy wouldn't live to hold his eighteenth birthday party._

**Chapter 10: You Lie!!**

While the doctor tended to Allen, Kanda sat in a chair directly facing Allen. Sometimes he was observing the doctor's movements but most of the time, his eyes were on other's sleeping face, hoping Allen would awaken from his death sleep any moment. He didn't want to miss it – when Allen woke up, it would rid him of the sickening feeling of guilt eating him up. A larger part of his brain was desperately digesting the aftermath of their passionate affair the night before. Technically speaking, he had raped Allen and the idiot probably was too weak for such strenuous exercise. Maybe he was too traumatized… and the only reason why he was still barely alive was his Innocence.

No longer in denial and without sex clouding his mind, he was able to think better. He could remember Allen's face contorted with pain as he pierced Allen; the tears of humiliation and terror as he thrusted into Allen; the pained gasps, wheezes and pleads. And how painfully beautiful Allen looked beneath him as he was flushed with passion. With a clear mind – Kanda finally understood how despicable he had been because his rape was ten times worse than what Allen did. It took two hands to clap and he had let Allen do whatever he wanted with his body – because he enjoyed it. But Allen had begged him to stop and he paid no attention to his pleads. Kanda didn't bring Allen pleasure; he only brought him pain.

This was the 4th doctor that Toma had fetched that day and like all the others before him – they turned away from Allen, shaking their heads sadly and their eyes reflecting grief and sympathy. _I am sorry, there is nothing I can do – the boy is dying. What a poor thing that boy is, to die so young._ Kanda growled in response to those sighs and sympathy. _Dumb doctors can all go to hell._

The samurai never bothered to look at the doctors as they left; only caring to hold Allen's tiny hand in his large one and to feel the tinge of warm that still lingered in the body. Was this the last time he was going to hold Allen's hand? Tonight, Kanda wouldn't be sharing the bed with Allen because he admitted it – he had done something terribly wrong to the young general. Kanda gently held Allen's hand in his as he leaned his head across his arm to sleep. _Tomorrow, we will look for another doctor to save you. Tomorrow, we will start again…_

--

Kanda was sure he had fallen asleep in the hotel room but his senses told him otherwise. He caught the scent of burning candle wax, jasmine flowers and incense – _I am no longer in the room_. Kanda's eyes flew open and felt disorientated in the strange environment. Four stone walls without a window, with only candle light to fill the room with its soft glow. The only other being in the room was a mediating old Indian man. The exorcist reached for Mugen only to find it missing. _What the hell…_

"Kanda…" the old man breathed out, not opening his eyes to look at the young man.

"…" Kanda refused to acknowledge the old man who had called him name – he only stood his ground to observe.

"Kanda Yuu – You slept with your comrade, Allen Walker, and now he is unconscious… am I right?"

Kanda's eyes widened in surprise and disbelief – how could he have known about Allen and him…

"You are aware of what you did, don't you?"

"So what about it, old man?" Kanda retorted, there was no need to inform strangers about his personal things.

"Do you know why Allen Walker is dying ?"

"..." Kanda stared at the old man, trying to figure out what the old man was getting at, what his motives were.

"You didn't know but Allen wanted to save you, so he gave up some of his life to you. But you..."

"Huh? What do you mean? Stop being ridiculous. How is it possible for him to give up life to me?"

"Have you noticed anything different about your comrade on this mission?"

"..."

"Allen has been spending alot of time in your bed hasn't he?" Kanda's eyes narrowed at the man's words.

"How do you know about all these things? What is your motive? Speak up, old man!"

"That is because I told him to do so, it was the requirement to transfer his life-force into you... and he was not to tell you the truth."

Kanda could not stop the look of horror on his face as he heard those words. Allen had been doing all those things to him so that he could transfer life force into him? That idiot of a bean sprout! Only idiots would believe in stupid lies like that!! It was such a ridiculous theory and Allen actually believed it! But instead of relieving his guilt, those words served to increase his burden ten-folds. If what he said was true, then he was an even greater sinner.

"The life force that he transferred into you was as pure as his body and soul. It was of the best quality. I am sure if you returned to the Order now, you would discover that your lotus in the glass casing is in full bloom - with all thirteen petals intact."

The last time he checked, he had only five left and he was probably down to the last four but... How much life-force had Allen given up to replenish the nine withered petals. _As pure as his body and soul_ - so Allen was a virgin?! Shit – Kanda cursed himself. Everything that the old man revealed now only made him even more guilty and frustrated. But there was no proof that what the old man said was true. Not even if the old man had stated facts that hardly anyone knew.

"You lie! I don't believe a single thing you say and stop messing with my mind. I might not have my sword with me but I can still rip your head off."

"I gave him a pair of bangles that could transfer life, I am sure he placed it on you. Don't you wonder why you felt so energised whenever Allen touched you? Haven't you noticed how it had the opposite effect on him when he came in contact with you?"

Kanda pulled back his sleeves and immediately spotted the bangle, but he had never seen it before. As if reading his mind, the old man replied, "It's enchanted, you couldn't have seen it if I hadn't allowed it." So what he said was true! Allen had been acting on the old man's orders... That was why he was acting so weird lately… He had misunderstood Allen and blinded by lust and distrust, he raped Allen. Allen was going to die because of his stupidity. How was he ever going to repay Allen? How was he going to repay Allen if he died?

"Stupid old man, so YOU were the cause of this whole mess, I demand that you save Allen now!" Kanda rushed at the old man, grabbing the old man's top to direct his death glare at the poor man.

"He had been desperate for a cure for you and he loved you so very much. I had only tried to help him fulfill his wish. It was YOU who messed it up because you raped him." The old man was right but Kanda's pride didn't allow him to admit his error.

"So what do you suggest old man. Stop wasting my time by telling me frivolous things because I have a comrade to save."

"You really are a stubborn man. After everything, you have done to him, you still consider him as only your comrade? Tsk tsk tsk. There is no point holding on to your pride this way. Why don't you admit that you like him too?"

"Like hell I would - If you have a remedy, then spit it. If not, then I am leaving this goddamn place."

"It makes no difference whether I tell you or not because you refuse to admit your love for your comrade. If this goes on, it would seal his fate – he will die. I have only words of caution for you. Do not touch any part of Allen because his love for you is what triggers the life-transfer. As long as he is still alive, the bangles will still function. Only when Allen dies will the bangle cease functioning. If Allen does awaken, have him remove the bangles first."

"Do not attempt to remove the bangles because Allen is the only person who can remove them. I can tell you that the clue as to where to find a cure for Allen - it lies in China. But his time is running out, so before his life force runs out, you have to reverse what you have done. That can only be done when you acknowledge your love for him."

"When you are desperate enough, then we would meet again, Kanda Yuu." With a blink of an eye, Kanda found himself back in the room, looking at Allen's sleeping face.

--

The truth is out! All that is left is to save Allen!! As you can see, this is a bridge chapter - the end of the India Arc and next chapter starts the China Arc. Hope to be able to update again soon but no promises! Truly sorry - I really am! R & R


	12. China

I was reading my previous entry and I realized I spelt THRUST as TRUST again

**I was reading my previous entry and I realized I spelt THRUST as TRUST again! Dang. Anyway sorry for the wait! Don't kill me! Haha – the number available for use in my home has been reduced from four to two.**

**It may be another month long wait before I update again.**

**--**

_Previously…_

"_Do not attempt to remove the bangles because Allen is the only person who can remove them. I can tell you that the clue as to where to find a cure for Allen - it lies in China. But his time is running out, so before his life force runs out, you have to reverse what you have done. That can only be done when you acknowledge your love for him."_

"_When you are desperate enough, then we would meet again, Kanda Yuu." With a blink of an eye, Kanda found himself back in the room, looking at Allen's sleeping face._

**Chapter 11: China**

From Bombay to New Delhi, Kanda and company travelled by train, hoping to reach China in the shortest time possible. After crossing the Indian border, they would reach China – a land famous for its exotic foods and martial arts. It would be a first in many years since he had set foot on any land where he would be surrounded by people who had the same yellow skin and ebony hair. His missions were always sending him all over the world be never once had the Japanese been to China or back to his homeland.

But it didn't mean Kanda blended in with the crowd - his beauty and grace was more than enough to make him standout from the peasant race.

China was a massive country and Kanda's knowledge of Chinese after spending years with Lenalee and Komui, was a great asset when moving in the country. But even among the Chinese, there were people of different dialects and nothing they said made sense to Kanda. He could make out people talking but it was weird because sometimes they look like they were arguing but they sound like they were singing. Sometimes, they seem to be happily talking, yet it sounded like they were being vulgar. Most importantly, the food found in China was enough to make him shudder. More than half the time, he couldn't make out the ingredients used in the food, even if it smelled good.

_With all this variety of food, China would definitely be Allen's paradise. _That thought triggered a wave of mixed feeling within the Japanese.

Throughout the entire journey to China, Kanda had piggy-backed Allen whenever they were on foot. Of course, the Japanese never touched an inch of Allen's skin but he never once complained how much of a burden the beansprout was. Kanda even carried him in his arms when he had to, but never did he let Allen out of his sight. The only times where he wasn't close to Allen, was when the younger boy had to be cleaned up. Toma was responsible for that task because he couldn't touch Allen.

Frustration was building up because Kanda hadn't figured out how to fix Allen and the younger boy was just growing weaker by the day. Kanda suspected that it was Innocence that kept the boy alive as far. Allen's parasite Innocence needed a lot of food, and he personally fed the general whenever he had the chance. But no matter what he did, Allen refused to stir from his death sleep. Allen's death was a matter of time if he couldn't get a cure but what was he going to do? Today had been a fruitless search once again.

"Master Kanda, it's getting late. There is an inn up ahead. Shall we?"

"Ngh."

"Toma - bathe Allen. I am going out for a walk."

"Yes Master Kanda."

Away from the bustling of the city, Kanda walked along the dirt path and slowly approached the woods. The samurai was never good with people so being surrounded by nature allowed him a breather.

In his stroll, the samurai walked himself into the courtyard of an old shaolin temple. Kanda could hear the faint chanting of Buddhist monks and the rustling of leaves as the wind chased them across the concrete floor. The serenity and peace of the place helped ease his troubled mind and the tension that built up over the past weeks seemed to melt away at that every moment. In this rare moment of peace, Kanda abandoned all his problems to soak up the atmosphere.

Kanda stood in the middle of the courtyard and closed his eyes to let his senses take over. The gentle breeze caressing his cheeks, the wind lifting his ebony hair in a swaying dance, the smell of jasmine flowers from a nearby garden and the gentle feel of the moonlight.

The exorcist opened his eyes to gaze at the moon so bright and beautiful; its soft glow and beauty was hard to ignore. It reminded him of the night in India where he and Allen had fought the Akumas. The moon had been full and bright; illuminiating everything in its path. And Allen was glowing too. But not matter how beautiful the moon was, it was Allen who captured his attention.

_Allen…_

_How am I supposed to save you?_

Meanwhile back at the hotel room, Toma was busy preparing the bath for the boy general. This had been the routine for the group ever since he returned to their hotel room in India that fateful day. As a finder, his intuition told him that something had happened between the two. He was pretty sure of it. The bruises on the boy's hips had been a hint but Toma knew better than to ask the ebony haired swordsman.

As Toma lifted Allen into the bathtub, he couldn't hold back the sigh from escaping. Their general was growing thinner and there was nothing that they could do. Kanda never spoke about it but he knew he was searching for a cure. The samurai might not show it but his body language was dead giveaway. He was always very protective of Allen but he shunned physical contact with the younger boy. _Was it rape? _Perhaps there had to be more than meets the eye. When they were in India, there were times when the general made him go on errands that sent him ridiculously far away. _So what was it?_

Staring at the naked body before him, Toma blushed. Allen was very attractive as a guy and even for a straight guy like him, it was hard not to be unaffected by the creamy skin and delicate pink of the lips. It was no wonder Kanda would be tempted to do naughty things to the child exorcist. _I wonder if it was their-_

"Oh no no no.. Stop. Stop. Stop. My mission is to help master Allen bathe - I must stop thinking too much."

"I must concentrate on my task and cleanse myself of unclean thoughts"

"Mary had a little lamb and its fleece was white as snow…"

"Humpty dumpty had a great fall and all the king's horses and all the king's men… "

Throughout the night, Toma recited nursery rhymes as he bathed and clothed Allen. He then tucked him in bed and awaited Kanda's return.

--

"Are you homesick?"

Kanda turned towards the voice, and spotted an old monk walking towards him. Kanda had been so engrossed in his thoughts that he hadn't heard the soft pattering footsteps. Kanda gave a slight nod of respect to the old monk.

"The moon is beautiful isn't it? No matter where you are, when you see the moon, it would always remain the same moon that you saw in your homeland."

"You are wrong – I am not homesick."

"Then why the miserable look? Would you mind sharing your problems with me? Perhaps I can enlighten you…"

There was something about the old monk before him that made him feel at ease. Kanda was able to open his heart and talk to the man about his… problem.

"My friend is dying and I cannot find a cure for him"

"Sometimes we can't fight death. Everyone dies eventually. Have you heard of reincarnation? After everyone dies, their life will continue in another lifetime."

"I don't want him to die. It was my fault that he is dying – and I want to try to save him."

"I see – you are doing it out of redemption? You could consider bringing your friend to the temple. We might have the cure for your friend."

"Cure? What is this cure that you are taking about?"

"Many of our martial artists mediate and practice qigong. It's a form of internal energy that can be transferred to another being."

"Apart from its uses in martial arts, it can also be used to heal people. If you are interested, then I would get my men to prepare a room for you. "

Kanda couldn't be happier. It was the first time in many days since he heard of any possible remedy for Allen. Compared to the stupid illusion in India, this old man was ten times nicer. But Kanda being Kanda always had doubts. Why was this monk being so nice to him? What was his motive? But Kanda had ran out of options. There was no other person he could approach so this was a gamble he had to take.

"Yes – that would be great. I guess I better be leaving then."

"Goodnight Mister…"

"Kanda."

"Goodnight Mister Kanda. See you tomorrow."

Kanda gave a slight bow of his head and left the temple. Tomorrow, they will take the first step to save Allen and that simple thought lifted his spirits significantly. Maybe soon, everything will return to the way it had been in the past.


	13. Waiting

**Hey yoz. another update but then i think the next few chapters will be quite interesting. hee hee i am quite excited to write the next chapter! **

**Anyway I wanna thank everyone for their reviews! I love Yullen and Kanda very much and I finished reading Chapter 167 of the manga. I am so freaking EXCITED! I love the entire plot!! and I can't wait to hear Allen sing when Episode 93 pops out! hahaha... **

_Previously…_

_Kanda gave a slight bow of his head and left the temple. Tomorrow, they will take the first step to save Allen and that simple thought lifted his spirits significantly. Maybe soon, everything will return to the way it had been in the past._

**Chapter 12: Waiting**

"We will be setting off first thing tomorrow morning." This was the first thing Kanda announced when he returned to the inn.

"Where are we off to? What time do you wish to set off? I have to get the kitchen to prepare Allen's breakfast."

"To a temple nearby – forget breakfast. We will have it at the temple."

"Yes, Master Kanda."

As planned, Kanda and company arrived at the temple early next morning and was greeted by the old monk of the temple.

"Welcome, Mister Kanda. I have been expecting you."

"This is Toma and Allen. We came as early as we could and we haven't had breakfast. Could we talk over breakfast?"

"Of course, why not. Let me show you to your room first."

The trio was lead through the corridor maze in the temple. The strong smell of sandalwood, several monks practicing their martial arts and the gardens that scattered across the temple grounds. The serenity in the temple interior was wonderful and the simple yet lavish Chinese deco gave Kanda an overall good vibe about the place. But what drew Kanda's attention was the massive lotus pond at the heart of the living quarters. It reminded him of the one he had back at the Black Order HQ and what had triggered this entire… problem.

"Here we are – this will be your room for the rest of your stay here." It was a simple room – as expected of a temple but it was good enough. Kanda laid Allen on the bed and went off to speak with the old monk.

"I will have breakfast sent to your room in a short while. This is a monastery so we are vegetarians. In addition, please refrain from using your sword because we do not support violence even though we practice martial arts."

"I understand. Thank you…"

"Abbot Kong Min – I am the head of the monastery. Feel free to approach me if you need anything. If there is nothing else, I will make my move. Excuse me"

"Wait – Abbot Kong Min."

"Yes?"

"Can I know when I can start the treatment for my friend?"

"We will talk after breakfast. I need to brief you on some issues first. I will send for you soon. Don't worry about it."

Soon breakfast arrived in the form of a banquet of assorted mushroom, tofu and vegetable dishes. _Hmmm… I would never look at vegetarian dishes the same way again. They actually taste pretty good!_ Shortly after they had finished their meal, a young monk knocked on their door to summon them to meet the Abbot.

"Master Kanda, why are we staying here?"

"These monks might have a cure for Allen. I am not sure how they are going to do it but it's the only lifeline we have got now."

"I see. Oh my god, I thought you wanted to join the monkhood."

"Che – don't be stupid. I am already with the Order – I AM practically a monk already."

"Ah but… arh… Good thing the Order lets us eat meat huh… I can't live without meat. Yummy yummy."

"Che - Whatever"

Toma silently slapped himself for nearly blurted out the fact that he and Allen had done it so that means they were célèbre anymore. Thank god, he caught himself in time. There was no telling how big a temper Kanda would flare. _God bless…_

Without another word spoken, they left their rooms and followed the young monk out.

--

Allen was lying on the bed in the infirmary while a monk took his pulse. Kanda stood close by, observing the movements of the monk and looking at the monk's expression for a hint of Allen's condition but there were none.

"Hmmm… this is most peculiar. I have never observed anything like this."

"The boy's body is frail and his life force is extremely weak so I am surprised that he has lasted so long like this. There seems to be an unknown force within him that is keeping him alive. This child is blessed."

_If only they knew what Allen had been going through his whole life…_

"So – is there a way to cure him?"

"Of course, of course. Just that it will take a tedious and long treatment. As long as he is still alive – it is possible to awaken him. However, I cannot guarantee a full recovery."

"What do you mean?"

"He might awaken but having spent such a long time in a coma, he might have lost some memories, or lost the ability to speak or, his intelligence reduced to a five year old. Maybe even…"

"Maybe even what?"

"He might end up a lifeless doll - alive but not living."

Kanda cursed silently; his grip on Mugen tightened. If the situation ended up like this, then there is nothing he could do. He would have to take care of that damn bean sprout all his life to repay his debt.

"Yes… I understand. How are you going to treat him?"

"It will involve many procedures. Come this way, we will talk in the study room."

The whole afternoon was spent in the study room briefing the Japanese on the treatments. The initial phase would involve a transfer of qi into the boy. Then Phase two would mainly be acupuncture and massage to improve the circulation the life force and blood. The final Phase would only kick in when Allen wakes up. The young exorcist would be required to take a long steam baths that was going to strengthen the boy's own qi.

Hence, from that day onwards, it began the general's treatment at the monastery and every other day, he would have qi transferred into him, followed by acupuncture and massage. Kanda was ok with the first phase of treatment but acupuncture and massage always bothered Kanda greatly. It drove him insane to have another man, see and touch every inch of Allen's body. Even if the one touching the boy was an old monk and it was just a massage, Allen was still his and he couldn't even touch him.

It pained his heart whenever the creamy smoothness of the boy's skin that he wanted to touch so badly was repeated pierced by long needles, till his body was covered with needles. The Japanese could never know if it hurt but the image of Allen's body with needles all over him, made his heart ache terribly. He wanted to go over and rip all the needles off. But Kanda held it all in because it was Allen's treatment and what mattered most was that the boy would awaken. Then he could remove the bangle and he would be able to touch Allen.

In the meantime, Kanda's past time now involved mediation and learning to master his qigong because he couldn't go on missions while Allen was here. Hopefully, his efforts and training will help Allen somehow. He might not be able to touch Allen now but when he can, he hopes to be one to transfer qi into Allen. Everyday before setting off to train in the mountains, the swordsman would head down to the general's room to check on him. The tedious treatments were paying off as colour was slowly returning to Allen's face, his breaths were getting stronger and sometimes, if he was lucky, he could see the twitching of the fingers. These little things made Kanda really happy. Allen was recovering!

One day when Kanda was in the mountains training with Mugen, he was interrupted by a young monk running up to him. The boy only panted out two words; but it was all Kanda needed to abandon training and rush back down to the monastery.

"Friend… _pant_… awaken… _pant_…"

He had waited for so long for this moment. He had waited for more than two months so he wasn't going to waste a second to reconfirm this.

--

Lying on the bed, Allen had regained consciousness, but his eyes were glazed over and his brain stuffed with loads of cotton. Blinking slowly, the boy tried to make sense of his surroundings. Blur. Everything seemed so blurry and his body felt so heavy. He heard muffled voiced but they made no sense to him. It hurt his brain to try to figure it out. He tried to talk but the only sound that he could make was a low grunt.

_What the hell's happening? Where am I? _

Suddenly a figure loomed over him so fast, it made him flinch. All the movements were make him extremely nasueou. Allen could only moan in protest.

_Bean sprout…_

As fast the figure appeared, it left his line of vision. Someone was touching his arm. Someone was tapping on his shoulder and calling his name. Someone was talking to him…

_Allen… Wake… Sleep… long… Allen…_

Allen tried to focus his brain to think and make sense of everything but he was too tired. He couldn't stop his eyelids from sliding down and closing – sending him back into the world of a welcoming darkness.

--

"Abbot Kong Min – How is he?"

"You saw for yourself just now, he is awake but it will take a couple more days before he can fully regain consciousness."

Kanda's heart was beating so fast, he couldn't think. This was just too much for him to take. He had though that Allen was really awake.

"I understand – I will wait."

"We will be able to commence the third phase of the treatment soon. Be a little happier! Your friend is recovering well!"

Kanda couldn't fight the feeling of disappointment from blooming. Perhaps he had been expecting too much. But after waiting for two whole months, news of Allen awakening was just too good to be true. He had known it would be slow but it was torturous waiting and waiting. How long was he going to have to wait?

--

**This was not intented as a cliffhanger because I figured out that unless I finish writing the story, anywhere that I end would still be a cliffhanger. hee hee. **


	14. Birthday Presents

**Hey people! Don't kill me! I know it's severly overdued but here is another chapter!! I am already half done with my holiday job and this is my present to you guys! I reckon, there will be two more chapters before this fanfic is complete! Yippe!! And thanks a million for the reviews!**

_Previously…_

_Kanda couldn't fight the feeling of disappointment from blooming. Perhaps he had been expecting too much. But after waiting for two whole months, news of Allen awakening was __just too good to be true. He had known it would be slow but it was torturous waiting and waiting. How long was he going to have to wait?_

**Chapter 13: Birthday Presents**

Nobody knew when; nobody knew how but progressively it became Kanda's habit to drop by Allen's room whenever he was free. When he wasn't training, the Japanese was in Allen's room either reading, mediating or feeding Allen. The frequency of these trips increased drastically, now that Allen was showing signs of awaking. You could say Kanda was like a moth drawn to a flame.

To the little boys in the monastery, Kanda was a funny man and they loved following the Japanese whenever he wasn't training. But of course, they had learnt to keep a safe distance and not be too noisy around the short-tempered man. In Allen's room, a pack of them were peeking at the queer swordsman from the window. Sometimes, the exorcist would just sit and stare at the young general. _Who would stare at a sleeping boy and suddenly smile to himself for no reason?_ On rare occasions when Kanda preferred the company of nature, he would be by the lake. This was the best part because Kanda's face would undergo a series of changes as he fingered a lone blade of grass absentmindedly.

Sometimes he frowned so hard, one might worry that lines would be permanently ironed onto his pretty face. With the blink of an eye, the frowns were gone and replaced by a much gentler expression. However, Kanda looked the best when he was smiling to himself because you could see it in his eyes even - the twinkling in his eyes as he reminiscence about something wonderful. If they had bean sprout for dinner, Kanda would take an awful long time munching the bean sprouts. What a queer man he was!

Their innocent minds didn't understand his behaviour and they giggled among themselves; whispering how silly that man was. But if Lavi were there, he would have known that Kanda had changed. The resident iceberg was melting…

Today, Kanda decided to mediate in Allen's room. Actually, Kanda mediated in his room every time because he couldn't mediate properly whenever he was elsewhere. It felt good to breathe in sync with Allen as he mediated but today was different. Allen was moaning in his sleep.

"Nnn. Mmm.. Ma…na.."

--

Tossing and turning as much as his much weakened body could, the young boy struggled against an invisible enemy. Allen could only moan and whimper as he fought feebly against his inner demons – reliving the moments when he killed Mana soon after turning him into an Akuma. No matter how many times he had dreamt about it, the ending never seemed to change.

"_MMMAANNNAA!!"_

_With all his might and love for Mana, Allen screamed his name – calling out to the man who loved him. Soon, the creature with 'Mana' engraved on its forehead started to move. _

"_Mana!!" – The young boy called out in delight._

"_All… en…" – It really is Mana! He called my name!_

"_How dare you…"_

"_How dare you turn me into an Akuma."_

"_I curse you! Allen!"_

_How short-lived his moments of bliss were, when it transformed into horror and despair as Mana cursed him. Mana had never raised his voice at him before but that day, Mana was so mad at him, he slashed his face and attempted to squeeze the life out of him. __Mana had hated him so much for turning him into an Akuma._

"_How dare you turn me into an Akuma!"_

"_I curse you! Allen!"_

_But as Mana prepared to stab Allen once again, the Innocence in thearm activated and attacked him. Allen was powerless to stop the arm from moving in for the final kill…_

"_Mana!"_

"_Mana! Stop!"_

"_Run – run Father"_

"_Allen, I love you"_

"_Destroy me please"_

"_Destroy me please Allen"_

"_AARRGGHH!"_

_To the 5yr old boy then, it was just like a horrible nightmare. Mana's death, together with his crushing of the Akuma must have been a nightmare. He wished that everything was a nightmare. He was waiting to wake up and see Mana smiling warmly at him again. He didn't want Mana to be angry at him._

--

As Kanda looked at the whimpering boy, all the samurai wanted to do was to hug the boy close to his chest and comfort him. He wanted to hold those small hands clutching the bed sheet and share his strength with him. But he wasn't supposed to touch him. _Damn. What should I do?_

Carefully wrapping the struggling boy with a blanket, Kanda gathered Allen into his arms and embraced him, letting the younger boy's head rest on his shoulder. But the Japanese was careful not to have any skin contact as he tightened his arms around Allen's waist and shoulders. It was the first time in several weeks since he last touched Allen and a happy feeling was bubbling up inside. For a man who detested physical contact, this was the biggest news in a century. _Allen is in my arms… but he seems so much smaller and lighter than I last held him._

Pangs of guilt were eating into his happy bubbly emotions and Allen's feeble struggles were not helping. Pulling Allen to lean flush against his chest, the swordsman started rubbing the sleeping boy's back in small circles while gently massaging his shoulders. Trying to get Allen to relax, Kanda even hummed a lullaby from his homeland to coax the boy into relaxing.

In no time, Allen melted into the arms of the ebony haired exorcist and continued into a peaceful sleep. But Kanda didn't stop his caresses and held onto the boy. Oh how long had he waited so that he could hold Allen in his arms again and breathe in his sweet scent. But it would have been even better if the general could wake and bicker with him again. It was such a joke when he used to curse the boy at every possible chance, and wishing he would shut up. Now, here he was missing the ridiculous yelling matches between them. For a stupid naive and stupid exorcist, he was also the only one brave enough to talk back.

In another two weeks, it would be his 19th birthday, and Kanda was not celebrating it. He never did. But his 18th birthday had been most memorable for all the wrong reasons, thanks to _them_.

--About a year ago--

It was the heat of summer and the cafeteria was a lot hotter than usual. Allen and gang were having lunch and they didn't forget whose special day it was…

"Yuu-chan, let's get Komui to send us on a mission to Iceland. I am already melting… " Lavi had been whining the whole day and the humidity was making his scarf stick to his head uncomfortably.

"Baka usagi. Quit whining like a girl because it's was embarrassing. Keeping cool is all about having a peaceful state of mind."

"Ohh.. So that is how Kanda always seems to cool and unaffected by the summer heat." Lenalee muttered to herself.

"Che. Drink your ice water quietly so that I can finish my soba."

"I think that's bullshit. I bet he borrowed some equipment from Komui that helps you cool down. Don't be so selfish Yuu-chan. Let's share!" From across the table, Lavi reached for Kanda's uniform and tried to unbutton his uniform.

"Like hell, I would borrow anything from that weirdo. Get off me!!"

"Then proof it. Come on _Yuu-chan_. Don't be shy… Let me see…"

It was pissing Kanda off and both boys wrestled for dominance. Unknown to Kanda, it was the start of a prank to_ commemorate_ Kanda's birthday. So angry and busy with Lavi that Kanda actually missed Allen's shift to stand behind him and proceeded to dump a cup of ice down his back. Caught off guard, Kanda half-screamed; half shouted in surprise as he shot up from his seat in an attempt to get rid of the ice coldness that engulfed his back. But their uniform was tight-fitting and it was a bitch getting the ice out. It was equally agonizing not to do anything and have the ice swim and move around on his back. One or two pieces even managed to escape to the front!

"Arugh… curses… curses… damn it! F…"

What a day it was for the Black Order; being able to see Kanda scream like a girly-man and have him perform his awkward dance to try to get the ice out. Kanda was cursing so badly, it would make a sailor faint. While Kanda was suffering, the three other exorcists were enjoying themselves as they stood a safe distance away, laughing their heads off.

By the time, Kanda was recovered his composure, Allen was already rolling on the floor because he was laughing so hard. The rest of the people in the cafeteria were either too stunned or their faces were turning purple from suppressing their laughter. A beautiful blush blossomed across the Japanese's face and a string of colourful language left his mouth as he charged at his friends.

"COME BACK HERE YOU SONS OF A B! COME BACK AND BE A MAN AND FIGHT ME!!"

"MOYASHI!!"

"BAKA USAGI!!"

"AARRHH!!"

It was now Allen and Lavi's turn to scream like a girl and the rest of the day was spent playing chase. Eventually, the three friends ended their chase by crashing into the Order's swimming pool. They had been running so much; they almost forgot why they were running in the first place. Of course Kanda didn't forget and both Lavi and Allen got their butts kicked anyway. But it was indeed a memorable birthday.

--Present--

The next day, there was frenzy outside of Allen's room because the exorcist general had developed a high fever and a bad cough, leaving him all red and sweaty. In between his laboured breathes the boy was muttering, "Sa…ve…sa…me…".

While the sensei worked to being the fever down, Kanda was standing motionless at a corner biting his fingers. But deep down, he was in a horrible mess because he was worried. He was worried that Allen could not pull through because of his extremely weak body. What was even more worrying was when the general would suddenly wheeze and stop breathing for a moment. His breathes were also become increasing erratic and it always left Kanda worrying if Allen was going to draw his next breath.

Kanda had been counting the number of breathes Allen took and it seemed that 146 didn't come because Allen had stopped breathing.

--Allen's dream--

Allen had been having so many dreams, he couldn't remember anymore. He dreamt about Lavi, Lenalee, Mana and all his friends in the Black Order. And of course he had dreams about Kanda and now he was dreaming again – this time, he fallen into a lake somehow. And this dream seemed so real, so different from the ones before. The sounds from above were so muffled when it reached his ears and there was a weird muted feeling while underwater. The water's surface was so far away and no matter how hard he kicked and swam, he wasn't even getting closer to breaking the water surface.

"_Oh my god. I can't breathe and my lungs are burning from the lack of oxygen."_

"_Someone - please save me!"_

Lacking of oxygen was making dizzy and his body felt so heavy. If nobody saved him, he was definitely going to die… and the fuzzy darkness was swamping his mind. Before he succumbed to the darkness, he felt a hand grab his left arm and suddenly he broke the water's surface. He was saved! And he heard someone call his name…

--

Pushing his way towards Allen, and performed CPR on the boy. It was like déjà vu again. It was like he was back in the hotel room in India as he called out to Allen. But somehow this seemed different. There was a sinking feeling this time; like his sixth senses were telling him Allen wasn't going to make it. If Allen didn't pull through, he wasn't going to be able to spend his birthday with him.

Thankfully, Allen resumed breathing in no time and Kanda didn't leave his side from then on. He had taken over the job of wiping the sweaty body with a damp, cold cloth. It was already nighttime when the sensei decided it was safe enough for him to leave Allen. His fever wasn't gone yet, be it was not very high and he wasn't coughing so hard either. That night, Kanda spent his night in Allen's room and watched over the boy.

Like sunshine after a terrible storm, Allen's eyes fluttered open and started ahead. _Am I dreaming again? This seems even more realistic than before…_ In this dream, it seems like his mind and body were detached from each other. He could vaguely feel his fingers but movement was hard. The feeling was just so weird…

Letting his eyes roam his surroundings, Allen had a feeling that he wasn't dreaming. He could heard birds chirping and sounds that he couldn't make sense of. He was in a place where he had never been to before and it was a simple room. While trying to make sense of such unfamiliar surroundings, he spotted a very familiar being to his left.

Allen finally woke from his long slumber and the first person he saw was Kanda.


	15. Caresses

_Letting his eyes roam his surroundings, Allen had a feeling that he wasn't dreaming. He could heard birds chirping and sounds that he couldn't make sense of. He was in a place where he had never been to before and it was a simple room. __While trying to make sense of such unfamiliar surroundings, he spotted a very familiar being to his left._

Allen finally woke from his long slumber and the first person he saw was Kanda.

**Chapter 14: Caresses**

"Kan... da"

Taking his time, Allen let his eyes feast on the man before him. Even though asleep, Kanda sat cross-legged and upright with his arms folded - clashing Mugen securely across his chest. _Even when asleep, he never leaves Mugen. How long has it been? He still looks so... good. _Seeing the other made his heart flutter and his cotton-stuffed brain even more retarded but there was nothing that he could do. Subconsciously, his mind recalled their night of heat and pleasure. If it wasn't for the physical memories – he would have believed it had been one of his dreams. That night, Kanda had also called him a slut and it was all because of an misunderstanding. The circumstances involved prevent him from telling Kanda the truth; and anyone caught in the same situation would have made similar judgements. The thought of Kanda hating him that much made his heart clench painfully. But despite all that had happened, he was pleasantly surprised to discover Kanda at his bedside. _He cared enough to stay by my side – perhaps he still considers me a comrade._

To see Kanda the moment he woke up, Allen didn't know if he should cry or should he laugh. When it was nice to see him again, there was the problem of facing him the moment they met. With a sigh, Allen resigned himself to fate. He was destined to be just a comrade of the samurai. He wasn't even sure he was able to look at Kanda properly in the face any more. With a grunt, Allen attempted to sit up from the bed, but failed miserably. With a gasp, the boy general realised that he couldn't feel his limbs properly, and his sense of touch was muted. Even though he could move his arms and legs slightly if he tried hard enough, his fingers couldn't really feel the bedsheets.

_No! no! What's happened to me? Why can't I move my body? Oh my god... Am I paralysed?_

With as much energy as he could mustered, Allen struggled to lift his body off the bed. But all he could do was squirm on the bed, and struggle himself breathless. So overwhelmed with panic and fear, the boy failed to notice his tears and whimpers.

_No! This can't be true! I can't move my body! Why is this happening to me! Anything but this! I don't want to be paralysed! I am an exorcist! How am I going to fight if I can't even move my body? I must still be dreaming because there is no way I can be paralysed!_

The harder he struggled, the more evident it seemed of his condition. Eventually, the boy couldn't hold back his cry of anguish as he was forced to accept his state of body. The Destroyer of Time had been reduced to a useless vegetable. Even though his body was an accommodator of the Innocence, it was not longer able to combat and serve the Black Order. He was not longer able to fight along side his comrades and protect the ones important to him.

Blinking his eyes open, Kanda was pulled from his dreamless slumber by the sounds of movement and whimpers. It was rude awakening to see Allen's body squirming in bed as a cry of anguish tore from Allen's throat. And Kanda was at Allen's bedside with the blink of an eye.

"Moyashi!"

Although he was momentarily distracted by the call of the familiar nickname, but the dam holding all the feelings of despair and fear had cracked. The floodgates had opened and Allen sobbed openly as he was no longer able to hold back his emotions.

Among all the scenarios that Kanda had foreseen, the Japanese had never expected to see Allen waking up and crying his heart out . And for him to see all those feelings of anguish and pain over the young boy's face, Kanda wanted to embrace the smaller boy and shield him. But he must not touch the boy... so he gently wrapped Allen with his blanket and embraced the trembling boy instead.

In this world, there is nothing more powerful than the expression of affection. A smile, a kiss, a hug. To hug might seem like a small thing, but for a person burden with intense sorrow and despair, a hug can the magically effect of sharing the burden. The physical contact gives the party the impression that despite his problems, he is not alone. At least there is someone who is there to stand by him. To the little British boy, crying in the arms of the Japanese male – he could not be more grateful. Even in his darkest moments, he was there to reach out to him.

A cold hearted bastard Kanda might be sometimes but for now, the samurai was every bit the gentle lover. Gently rubbing small circles on his back, whispering words of comfort, and letting him soak his uniform with tears. Allen found a new reason to fall even deeper in love with Kanda. But would he still care for him if he knew that he was useless as an exorcist? And why is Kanda being so nice to him? When Allen finally calmed down, Kanda shifted and looked Allen in the eye.

"Moyashi..."

"hmm..."

"I want you to tell me truthfully - why did you do it..."

"Why... What do you mean..."

"You..." Hearing the hesitation, Allen realised that the other was referring to their night of sin.

"I already told you – I can't tell you the truth... but I am really sorry."

"No Moyashi – you are not answering my question. I already know about the bangle."

"H..how did you know!"

"I met that weirdo old man. Why. I am asking you why and I am not going to ask you again."

"It's because.. I love you... I couldn't bare to see you die"

"Stupid Bean, you are giving me your life force because you love me? Can you be even more idiotic than that?"

"Well – I am sorry that I decided to save you because I love you too much to see you die alright? I am sorry."

For some reason, Allen was sad to confess his love again. It was like a part of him was breaking because this was no confession of love. It felt like he was confessing for a crime and he was guilty – he was guilty of loving Kanda. Allen was angry and he never felt so wronged in his life. His heart was aching so bad, it was squeezing tears out of him. Both males tensed at Allen's outburst and either wanting to break the silence. Kanda's pride was preventing him from doing anything else. And Allen was too heartbroken to do anything but he still gave in to the awkward.

"Sorry – I am tired. I want to rest."

"I will get the Sensei to check on you later then."

After helping Allen back onto the bed, Kanda exited the room without even a second glance at the boy.

--

After leaving Allen's room, Kanda left for his favourite spot near the lake to brood. The exorcist mentally slap himself for being such a bastard back then but that was the way he was whenever he was around Allen. It was instinctive of him and it was this part of him that was always hurting Allen. Part of him liked to see Allen flustered and all but he knew he was hurting him. Walking back to the room, he spotted the Sensei who just finished Allen's physical examination.

"Good evening Sensei – how is Allen?"

"He is weak but his vitals are functioning properly. At the moment, we will continue with his acupuncture treatment and given the proper food and nutrition, he should be fine in no time."

"That is good to hear."

"But I need to highlight something to you. It might be due to the time he spent in coma or he might have suffered some nerve damage because it seems that he has lost control of his muscles. He will be bedridden for quite some time."

"Sor-ry, come again?"

"It seems like he is quite handicapped in terms of his movements. This is beyond what we can do. Perhaps with some exercise and therapy, he could regain some of his muscle control. "

"I see. Thank you Sensei."

"No problem. Have a good rest, Kanda."

--

Bedridden. Allen. Weak. Brain damage. Movements handicapped. And it was all his fault. The Japanese stepped into the room to see Allen gazing out, at the evening sky. The British boy was so lost in his troubles that he failed to register Kanda's presence in the room. Supporting by a mountain of pillows, Allen look so small, so frail and lost. The boy who was always so confident and radiant had disappeared. How was he going to get the old Allen back?

As the general reached for a glass of water, his muscles couldn't handle its weight and splashed the contents all over himself. The glass fell onto the floor and shattered into a million pieces – just like his heart. _I can't even hold a glass of water._

"Oi Moyashi... I want you to remove the bangle."

"I can't."

"Why not? I have never been better so there is not need for you to transfer life force into me."

"Sorry but I just can't do it because I can't even move my body properly! Look – I can't even hold a glass of water! I am bloody useless now! So Kanda, go ahead and laugh at me to your heart's content..." The bitter emotions whirling within was making him irrational.

"For god's sake – Stop being such a baby! You just need treatment! Only weaklings will bow down in times of trouble."

"Yeah – I am a baby. I am a weakling. I am even more useless as a baby now. I need someone to help me with everything!

Tears of humiliation streaked his pale cheeks; and his arms trembling with the effort of trying to keep the sobs in. He had promised Mana that he will keep walking – but how was he going to keep walking if he was bedridden? Allen felt so messed up at the moment. The Earl was swiftly planning the century's biggest threat to mankind. And he had to bloody get himself handicapped. It wasn't that he discrimanated others – but being incapable battle meant that he could no longer be an exorcist and fight with people whom he had grown to love as family. The last person he needed here was Kanda – the person who had landed him in this situation; the person who practically raped him senseless. Heck – even if Kanda hadn't known it would turn out this way, Allen wasn't going to give a damn. He was too upset to give a damn.

"Just shut the fuck up, get out! I don't want to see you."

"Not unless you remove the bangle. All you have to do it is just hold onto the bangle and I will pull. Show me that you can do at least that."

"..." - Allen stubbornly refused to move.

"Every moment that you refuse to remove that bangle means that you are one foot into your grave. Do you wish to go back to the Order or not?"

Reluctantly, the younger boy shifted his left arm to hold onto the bangle. With a slight nod, it was a signal for Kanda to cup his hand over Allen's left and pull. With little resistance, the bangle came loose and slipped onto the bed with a dull thump. After Kanda's bangle was removed, both bangles dissolved into thin air. With the disappearance of the bangles, the older boy breathed a sigh of relief. There was no need to be paranoid around Allen anymore.

And suddenly, his attention was directed to the semi-wet attire that the trembling Allen was still in. It was already evening time and when nightfall comes, the weakling was going to catch a cold. Furthermore, the wet material was now translucent; allowing Kanda a faint idea of where two erect pink nipples were.

"There, it wasn't that hard was it?"

"..."

"Hey - Stop ignoring me."

"I can if I want to."

"You are just proving me how bratty you are. Now change your clothes; they are wet."

"NO. NO. NO."

"You... stupid... bean sprout..."

"Stop touching me you bastard!"

The harder Kanda tried to remove his clothes, the harder Allen fought but the British boy was too weak to fight the healthy male for long. Eventually, the general was on all fours; with his arms pinned above his head while Kanda's right hand was free to undress the poor boy.

Even though he had have sex with Kanda, it was still embarressing to be caught in such a compromising position and to feel of Kanda's breath tickling his ear, Kanda's heat radiated from his chest on his back and the feel of those fingers as they fluttered across his body. As the older boy groped for the hemline of his pants – those butterfly caresses across his tender stomach sent waves of sensation all over his body. When the cold hand slipped into pants and brushed against his manhood, Allen couldn't stop the jolt of pleasure nor the gasp of surprise. _He's touching me there._

The observant Kanda didn't miss that reaction – and the speed of undressed slowed drastically. After slipping the pants off those hipbones, Kanda made a show of sliding the pants while groping those firm butt cheeks before sneaking to the front again to stroke the inside of the boy's thighs. The occassional hitch in breath was all Kanda needed to know Allen was enjoying this.

"Idiot – what are you doing?!"

"Isn't it obvious idiot; I am taking off your pants."

"Well hur-rry up"

"I would, if someone would struggle less."

The sneaky boy then shift his attention to the younger boy's torso, feeling the toned muscles on his back and abs, and brushing across the hard nipples. The feeling of Kanda on every inch of body was making Allen hard. Now, the young general was reduced to a panting and trembling teenager - no longer able to stand the onslaught of sexual pleasure. Seeing Allen's arousal, Kanda wrapped his fingers around it and started pumping to a slow steady rhythem. Moans, pants and whimpers was all Kanda heard before Allen came into his hand. With that, he collapse onto the bed and quickly fell into a deep sleep.

"Treat it as a present from me to you, for finally waking up, Moya-shi."

**My longest entry ever. Blow kisses to all her fans and people who have been following the story and reviewing! Many thanks! Life hasn't been working out the way I wanted it to so – there was a delay in updates. Anyway it will be a monthly update from now. Sorry in advance for making everyone wait. **

**Anyway – I think it is about time I wrote a lemon. Lemon coming in the next, or next next chapter!**


	16. You and Me

**Hey yo people – I am back. School and part-timing can really kill because I feel like I am half dead everyday. But money is the greatest motivation ever. I am going to save up to go travelling during vacations! woots! So I am going to try and finish this whole fanfic asap! Roars Thank you everyone for supporting this fic! **

_Previously,_

_Seeing Allen's arousal, Kanda wrapped his fingers around it and started pumping to a slow steady rhythm. Moans, pants and whimpers was all Kanda heard before Allen came into his hand. With that, he collapse onto the bed and quickly fell into a deep sleep._

"_Treat it as a present from me to you, for finally waking up, Moya-shi."_

**Chapter 15: You and Me**

After the morning's therapy session, the poor boy was propped up on pillows and placed so he could look out of the window. Allen's treatments were more focused on helping him regain mobility and use of his limbs. It was weird in the beginning because his body was sometimes twisted into weird shapes or made to do really humiliating actions.

Today's therapy session was no exception. It always starts with a full body stretch which felt like the two monks were trying to rip his limbs from his body. Then the said exorcist would be crying in pain as his lower body was made to endure all sorts of splits while his upper body was constantly moving. Technically, it was the monks who were doing all the work but each session always had him soaking his Pjs with cold sweat. But now he was able to move around more and grab things with his hands. Strength was also returning to his body so all the pain and humiliation was worth it.

Nutrition-wise all he had been eating were greens and flour or bean-made products and it was taking a toll on the young bottomless pit. When Toma came into the room to clear the dishes – the 15 year old couldn't help but whine to his trusted Finder.

"Hey Toma – I don't think I can eat another piece of tofu." Thinking about it was enough to turn Allen's face stared turning a little green...

"But Master Walker – this is a monastery so we can't eat meat. If you want – I could get some fruits instead."

"Uhhh - Toma! Even all the sauces in the world cannot change the fact that I have been eating bean-this and bean-that. If I eat any more, I am really going to turn into a bean sprout!"

"So what do you want me to do?"

"Could you make a trip to town and buy red bean soup, grass jelly, gui ling gao, black sesame soup, sweet potato soup, dragon's beard candy – 4 boxes each, 40 egg tarts, 20 pieces of nuo mi ci, 10 pieces of spring rolls, 15 pieces of turnip cake and taro cake and 30 sticks of tang hu lu!" The notion of eating these Chinese desserts was enough to make Allen starry-eyed.

But Toma wasn't amused because he had to carry it all back. "You want me to buy and carry ALL of that back?!"

"Pretty, pretty, please? If you ask the Abbot, I am very sure he would let you take the younger monks to help! Besides – it is your chance to go down and take a bite on something meaty. Xiao long bao? Those delicious dumplings and those crispy roast duck." Allen's bambi eyes was turned to full turbo power.

Upon hearing these few dishes was enough to make Toma drool. Truth be told, he had indeed been forced to follow those strict diet regulations since arriving and this was his chance to eat something meaty. Toma was so lost in his day-dream – he failed to notice the bandage around his face soaking up his drool and Allen unconsciously shuddered in disgust.

"Toma – you are drooling..."

"Oh - My bad." The finder lifted his hand to wipe of the drool only to touch damp bandages; and he flushed tomato red.

"I will be going then. See you later." Allen's favourite finder muttered quickly, and proceeded to leave the room in a flash.

Allen was absolutely overjoyed and hollered after Toma; "Have a great trip! Try to be back before dinner okay!"

That same afternoon, Kanda was slurping soba in the canteen when he spotted Timcampy fluttering around aimlessly in the garden. _Oversized lemon – flying around so frivolously... and stupid just like its master... _Kanda muttering under his breath. The swordsman quickly directed his attention back to his lunch but one should always remember that Tim was no ordinary golem and it was capable of retaliation.

The fluttering sphere manoeuvred itself behind the unsuspecting man and with a slight sssllluuuppp; Mugen disappear from between Tim's jaws. Kanda only had enough time to turn before Tim whizzed off for cover.

--

When the earlier excitement died down, Allen was looking out of the window again but his new past time was rudely interrupted by the crash landing of his best friend. "Oof.. . Tim! What's the matter? You nearly knocked a crater into my chest!" Timcampy circled his room in frantic circles as footsteps were quickly approaching his room. "Tim! What's wrong?"

**BAM**

The door to Allen's room was slammed so hard, it nearly fell of its hinges. Kanda stood at the door, with his death-glare zeroed in on Timcampy. Common folks might have had a heart attack upon seeing this because the swordsman looked every bit the death god who was here to claim his victim.

The momentarily stunned golem did the only thing it could think of – hide behind Allen. Or rather in his master's blouse. Dizzy with anger and revenge, Kanda just **POUNCED. **Everything happened so fast that there was no time to process everything that just took place. But seeing Kanda POUNCE onto him was more than his weak heart could handle. The poor boy's breath was caught in his throat and his heart beat sky rocketed. "Ka-Kan–da". In a split second, all his senses were filled with Kanda's presence. The feel of his hands as he groped roughly; the warm breath on his neck and ears and the warmth that penetrated through his thin blouse. Most importantly, it was the scent of Kanda. He remembered the nights that he had spent with Kanda; and also the night where he lost his virginity. The memories only made Allen more self-conscious and the feeling of those large hands, more acute. His breathes came in small pants; his body insufferably hot.

In this game of catch in Allen's blouse, Kanda pulled the boy to lie flush against his chest to restrict the movements of Tim while his hands groped for the metal ball. It wasn't supposed to be a difficult task, given Allen's lithe size but Tim could be elusive when he wanted to be. If he couldn't hide in the blouse any more, then he will go into the pants. Allen couldn't stop his silent gasp of surprise as fingers skimmed a sensitive area on his hip. As if anticipating this move, Kanda didn't hesitate to dive into the pants and grab where he thought was Timcampy. But to his horror, it only earned him a scream of pain from Allen as the white haired boy jerked upwards.

"Allen.. what... are you alright?" - All thoughts to catching Timcampy were lost at the sight of the trembling boy.

"N-nngh!" - the pain was excruciating.

"Hey... Moyashi"

Receiving no response but moans, the older boy peered over Allen's shoulder and spied two trains of tears running down those flushed cheeks.

"Oi – What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Kanda had a feeling that maybe its wasn't Tim that he had grabbed. Moving to face Allen, Kanda lifted the Brit slight to slip the pants off his hips and the poor boy was in too much pain to protest against it. Finally free of the pants, Kanda parted those ivory legs only to receive a little surprise! The bruised testicles was one thing but how Allen was having a semi hard-on was another. Not to mention, the scrunched up face of Allen and his moans was just... making Kanda horny.

Gently cupping those bruised balls, the older male began slowly massaging and soft mews and whimpers escaped from those soft pink lips. The pain gave way to something more pleasurable and familiar tingling sensations were washing over his body in waves; the heat in his stomach intensifying. It didn't take long before he was trembling.

"Ka-Kanda, yo-u can s-top…"

"Are you still _hurting_ anywhere? And are you sure you want me to _stop_? Look how hard you have become... hmm – you must love it when I touch you. Do you need me to help you with _your problem_?" the last word was breathed so lustily and hotly into Allen's ears; it sent a jolt of excitement passed through his body.

"It's okay – everything will be back to normal after a while. So please don't worry about me." Our general was trying his darnedest to sound as firm as possible.

"Hmm then get Tim to return Mugen. That stupid lemon stole it."

"huh.. oh Tim, return Mugen to Kanda this instance!"

The sight of the long kantana reappearing from between the golem's lips gave horny Kanda an idea.

"Hey stupid Bean sprout, it's been a while since I got some action myself. How about giving me a blow job?"

"What the hell! Why do you want to do something all of a sudden?! Your sexual advances are so random!!" Allen was so embarrassed, even his ears and neck were starting to turn red.

"Not really random – but seeing Tim swallow Mugen and having it back out in one piece – I had sudden inspiration."

"No – why the hell would I want to do that."

"Well – it didn't stop you way back then. And you still have a problem there, we could help each other out you know..."

When the blushing boy made no objections, pants were efficiently stripped off hips and in a flash, Kanda was topping Allen. Seeing the small erection standing tall and proud, it sent Kanda's heart pounding because he was going to taste Allen for the first time. Meanwhile the snowy boy below him was staring intently at the rather sizable endowment, not knowing how to start.

"Moyashi – itadakimasu."

Kanda's words caught the bean sprout's attention and he was in time to see Kanda give his head a gentle kiss. It was so erotic to see the usually stoic man in action and Allen couldn't suppress the long moan that escaped his lips – it felt so good. The soft slickness was going round and round. Kanda was pretty skillful as he worked his way down to the base, nibbling lightly. Reluctant to look away, the British boy took a steadying breath before moving forward to give his lollipop a tentative lick. Even though it wasn't the first time doing this, it embarrassed him to no-end and the distraction somewhere south was so overwhelming.

Shutting his eyes to concentrate better, he slid the large organ past his lips and took it in as much as he could before letting it slide back out. Before long, the only sounds heard were moans, sucking and slurping. Two heads were bobbing up and down in sync with each other and soon both boys were trying to force himself deeper. While Kanda was able to hold Allen's hips down as those sexy hips wiggled constantly, the Japanese was thrusting his shaft into Allen's mouth and choking the poor boy. Arching weakly, the younger boy tried to voice his discomfort since his jaw was already opened so wide and tip of the shaft was constantly humping the back of his throat and making him choke. Apparently, the older male loved this and thrusted faster and faster.

Lack of oxygen was weakening Allen and his surroundings started to grow fuzzy. All senses were zeroed in on the pulsing hardness thrusting into his mouth and the rapid suctions on his dick. Allen was too dazed and simply let the waves of sizzling pleasure build up within him. When his body could no longer take the heat, spurts of pearly white exploded into Kanda's mouth and Kanda followed in orgasm.

With the last of his strength – Kanda made an effort to move himself to lie next to Allen on the bed. Allen was limp; enjoying the afterglow of sex and coughing. Seeing Allen's flushed face and how the boy struggled to breathe and swallow his cum at the same time made the Japanese aroused all over again. But he knew the boy was exhausted and decided that he would rather enjoy watching Allen sleep because he had many more chances to claim the boy. Pulling the limp body to lie flush against his chest, the Japanese gently kissed and caressed the albino until he too fell asleep.

It wasn't that he was a bastard and a cold hearted jerk. It was the way that he had been brought up – to mask him emotions and focus on what was important. But he was also a man and as a man – one should protect things important to him. He might not know what love was but Allen was special to him. Allen was important to him and he had been too stupid to realise. If he was able to cherish the special boy in his life, then he wouldn't have to regret anything. He wasn't going to tell Allen that he love him because it was too superficial. Instead he was going to express his care and concern through his actions. To Kanda, that was more important.

--

By the time Toma made it back to the monastery, it was already nightfall. When he finally dragged his legs to Allen's room, his legs could no longer hold his weight and crumbled to the floor. It wasn't because he was too tired but it was because he was suffering from a major nosebleed and a hard-on between his legs.

Lying on the bed were his exorcists – together – naked – and oh so, so, so very close together. The pinkish glow on their skin. The sensual curve of those sexy hips and the blanket that barely covered what was beyond those hips – oh my god, oh my god. It was sex-overload.

Kanda dwarfed Allen and his right arm was wrapped protectively over Allen's waist; holding the boy close. Kanda had buried his nose in the nook of Allen's neck so that every breathe he took smelt of Allen and the swordsman's right palm was nestled so nicely over Allen's left breast.

Plus the sight of Allen's drool-worth body and the traces of pearly white on that sinful body. Oohhhh...

It took all of Toma's willpower and determination to crawl himself out of the room before he bled to death

--

Warm. It felt so comfortable and everything felt so right. Allen made to push himself closer towards this warmth. It was amazing how this warmth fitted every contour on his body as he laid flush against it. Suddenly, his world was moving and in addition to the warmth was a reassuring weight and relaxing massages. All these made him feel warm and safe to the very core of his soul. _hmmm.._

When he woke with a start, he only saw the skin on a sexy collar bone. Beyond that was lots of gorgeous skin that was touching his naked body. A passionate kiss and a wonderfully skilled tongue followed next. When they parted for breath, the albino came face to face with a Kanda he had never seen before. Kanda was looking at him like he was the most precious thing on earth.

"Morning Moyashi" Kanda's eyes were so loving; it was unnatural.

"Ka-Kanda..."

"ummm – I love the way you say my name" - Kanda breathed against his skin.

"What are you doing?! Get off!!"

"You looked so delicious in your birthday suit, I couldn't resist touching you a little." There was some thing in those sapphire eyes that made Allen's heart skip a beat.

"You.. just shut up! Baka hentai!!"

"Hmm do you really want me to shut up? I was going to ask you to go out with me... I guess I should just leave."

As Kanda made to leave their shared space, Allen grabbed "WAIT WAIT!! What are you talking about? Go out with you! Go out where? What. Where? Huh?"

"Hmmm – we have done so many naughty things together, I guess it is about time I claim you as my own."

"I AM NOT YOURS YOU IDIOT!!"

"Does that mean to say you don't want me as your boyfriend?"

"Boy-boyfriend?! Am I dreaming? Am I sick? Wait – are you an imposter? Kanda would never say something like that."

"Are you some kind of idiot? Do you want me or not?"

"Yes. I mean no. Wait wait. Yes yes. But are you okay with that? I mean we are both guys and the Order might..."

"Damn Moyashi can you stop thinking for a minute? "

"But I am useless now! I can't find, I can't walk and I don't have boobs."

"I don't need you to have boobs and you are not useless to me when your moans make me hard and the face scrunched up in pleasure makes me want to fuck you senseless over and over again. Why – you deny that you want me. Yet when I shove my dick up your ass, your ass squeezes my dick so tightly, it is almost like you are trying to milk me of my cum. And just look at the amount of pre-cu-"

"Shut up you fucking pervert. How can you say such things with a straight face?!"

"Stop freaking out or else I am going to feed you your breakfast with my mouth!"

"But I- " Allen couldn't finish what he intended to say because the rest of the sentence was eaten up by Kanda.

**OKAY – this like the end. I might write a sexy epilogue if I have time. Hahaha I hope everyone had enjoyed this fan fic. And thank you for your reviews!! Kudos! Love ya and ! will continue to write fics!**

**P/S: People who are interested to know what Allen had ordered Toma bring back in the beginning of the chapter can wiki them! Most of them are Chinese desserts or dim sum.**


	17. Save Me: Epilogue

**Sorry if you have been waiting! But there is no doubt that Christmas is the best time for a sexy epilogue for this fic because it's Allen's birthday!! I guess Kanda was a little too OCC in my last chapter… My apologies because I was kind of lazy when I wrote that bit of lemon. Couldn't think of a more Kanda-ish way for the lemon to take place. HAHAHAHAHA! Anyway Merry Christmas everyone~! **

Winter is finally here and on this snowless night – you could clearly see acres and acres of land blanketed by a thick layer of snow. In Allen language – it was like everything was coated with tonnes of sugar icing. And Allen being Allen, would surely drool in this little fantasy of his. _Yummy_ he could say.

The night sky today was so blue, it was almost black. But because of the darkness, it enhanced the brightness of the twinkling stars and the perfectly round moon. The moon was so bright too! You could almost see as clearly as day.

Snowy white against midnight blue – the right hues that complemented each other. Under the moonlight, some of the snowflakes sparked like stars that had fallen from the skies. In those long lonely hours, this was perhaps the way Snow was keeping Night company - they were communicating through these twinkling 'stars'.

Somewhere in this vast English country sat a little cottage; the only disturbance in the smooth snowy landscape. In the cottage housed, a pair of exhausted exorcists enjoying the silent company of each other. After nearly 3 months, their latest mission ended just in time for them to enjoy Christmas together. On Christmas Eve night, the pair was finally clean, fed and warm under the covers – enjoying a rare moment of couple romance.

The success of their recent mission held more importance than others before because this was the British exorcist's first mission since his recovery. He pushed himself hard to recover after returning to the Order. Finally after many months of tough training and buckets full of tears; the young man was deemed fit enough for missions. Komui had never questioned how he had ended up almost half paralysised and he had no idea what Kanda wrote in the report. But everyone was probably more interested in what was conspiring between their two best exorcists. Nobody missed the blushes, the hickeys and the longing gazes at each other.

The mission was also a success because his lover was always watching his back in battles. But Kanda being the bastard that he was insulted him at every opportunity! Nevertheless, the white haired young man endured it all because he knew the swordsman cared for him; his strides were smaller than usual and he constantly looked back to check on him. Plus, there was actually a reason why Kanda always insisted on walking in front. By stepping on the prints that Kanda made - Allen found that it was easier to walk in the snow.

Eventually, their mission was accomplished in England – Allen's homeland. Truth be told; Komui had arranged it so that they were nowhere near the Order till after the New Year. The thought of his pure and precious Lenalee being corrupted by Allen's endless pleasured-filled screams and the Order being smothered by the smell of sex was enough to push him to build a separate love nest in the forest for them. The couple never wondered why there was a fully stocked cottage with a big fluffy bed in the middle of nowhere. High chance it was the doings of Komui and they were not complaining.

Lying on the fluffy, king-sized bed with the fireplace burning brightly, a naked Allen lay contented in the arms of his equally naked lover. The possessive arms he felt around him, the firm chest he could lay his head on. Those hands, that held him close, held him tight. It felt so right. It felt so… unbelievable. Shifting slightly on his arm pillow, the little Brit let his eyes travel over his lover's body lazily. The flawless skin made golden by the glow of the fireplace; every curve of those taut muscles on his lover's tight torso enhanced by the shadows. The best thing was that every inch of that sinful body belonged to him. Kanda was his lover now. Turning away from the sexy body, Allen sighed in contentment as strong arms were wrapped around his naked body, curled around his chest and stomach. He could hear the deep, regular breathing, hot air blowing down his hair and neck with every exhale. For now, the younger male had to be satisfied with spooning with his boyfriend. The fun could start after a good night's rest.

However, Allen didn't stay in slumber land for long - not when there was someone molesting every inch of his body.

"Ngh… K-kanda" He stuttered; still not fully awake, only aware of the sensation of hands and lips roaming over his body and touching all the right places.

"Hmmm Moyashi… Finally awake now are you?" Kanda mumbled huskily into his neck, and laid more gentle kisses over the beautiful pale skin before nimbly tweaking a beautifully erect pink nub between his fingers. He was rewarded with a hitched breath.

"W-what… Now? Mm… Aren't you tired…" Allen tried to rid the last bits of sleep from his mind.

"Shh…don't talk, not now…"

Gently tilting the small head back, Kanda plundered those lovely lips with a passionate kiss; their tongues touched each other; sucking and curling as they tasted each other sweetly. The bashful male moaned in pleasure and surrendered his body to the melting heat of Kanda's passion. Allen arched his neck to give the samurai better access, and almost whimpered when teeth clamped down upon his skin by his pulse point. Said samurai was taking his time, giving little kisses and bites on the boy's ivory neck and forcing tiny sounds to come from Allen's parted lips.

Pulling Allen to lie across his chest as he shifted to lean against the headboard, those skinny legs spread outside of Kanda's thighs, leaving the poor boy completed exposed. The moonlight that slipped in through the window caused the pale boy to glow a pale blue - the lightly panting, sensual body was a heart-stopping sight. The naked boy flushed red in mortification as he was maneuvered into such a vulnerable position. Like hell he was going to submit himself to such humiliation.

"K-kanda! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! This is embarrassing. I-I…"

As Allen attempted to roll off, he was kept firmly spread out by the hands on his thighs. "Are you going to reject my birthday present?"

"H-huh?"

"Can't you feel what you are doing to me? I am going to give someone a lot of loving tonight." Kanda breathed low into his ear, giving a little jerk of his hips to emphasis his point. Feeling his lover's pulsing member beneath him and those long stroking fingers sliding teasingly up the inside of his thighs made him twitch in excitement. His embarrassment increased tenfold at his body's slutty reactions. He was never going to admit that it was a turn-on for him. Now completely exposed, Kanda's large hands were free to roam and explore the territory between those slim legs, occasionally brushing against his puckered entrance. As those nimble fingers expertly massage his sacs, the panting boy could no longer hold back the long moan of pleasure.

"haa haa"

"Ngh.. K-kanda."

"Yuuu-ugh… More…"

The power of Kanda's hands was all that was needed to make those little hips jerked and grind against the owner's will as the body craved for more contact. Allen arched his back, half-enjoying the fondling, half-anticipating more. All along, the larger male had been careful not to touch his erection and it was now throbbing for attention. The panting boy unconsciously shifted his legs a little farther apart, and Kanda could barely control himself at the sight of the shivering, flushed boy on top of him.

The wanton expression on Allen's delicate features, the flushed cheeks, half-closed eyelids, eyebrows creased in concentration. His pale skin was covered in a faint sheen of sweat, just barely coating his lithe, sensual body making every movement of muscle visible. It took a great deal of control for Kanda to not take him now. The whole point of his birthday present was to _pleasure_…

While sucking passionately on one sensitive nipple, Kanda rubbed his fingers over the sensitive tip, smearing the first few drops of pre-cum. But upon contact, the boy inhaled sharply as his body jerked in response.

"Hmm… so responsive tonight… Were you waiting for me to touch you" the samurai's voice raspy from need.

"Shut up"

The panting boy quickly turned his face away to hide his beautiful face painted with the dark flush of desire. Playing with the tiny slit while gently tugged at the pulsing, hot erection, Kanda skillfully coax more pre-cum to weep from the tip… This was sweet torture for the trembling boy. If felt good but it was so slow, too slow. He wanted to feel more - wanted to feel Kanda's hand wrapped around him and feel of Kanda buried deep within him. With a trembling hand, Allen stopped Kanda's movement. He couldn't stop the quivering in his voice, as he pleaded with his lover.

"Please Kanda, stop teasing me already. I am already this hard… It hurts."

"Then Allen, tell me what you want."

"I want you.'"

"What do you want me to do then?"

"I-I want… to feel you wrapped around me, I want to feel you inside me."

How could he deny his sweet love when he was pleading so shamelessly for him. In a heartbeat, Kanda was hovering over him, ravishing the willing mouth with a deep kiss as he pumped his lover firmly, setting a quick pace. Just before tipping the trembling boy over the edge, the samurai pulled back and the sight before him, took his breath away. The view of his flushed lover jerking his hip upwards wantonly to seduce him into helping him come; whimpering at the loss of contact. He could never get tired of this view.

Quickly, one slick finger entered the small puckered entrance, gradually working deeper before another swiftly followed. No matter how many times they had made love, it always felt like it was Allen's first time because he was always so damn tight. As those long fingers digger deeper and stroke the sensitive gland deep within the lithe body, it sent raw darts of pleasure curling through his stomach and jolting straight to his groin. He gritted his teeth in a delighted but agonized grimace a third finger was added. _Damn – it still hurts after all these times._

Kanda heard Allen whimper softly through his teeth and knew he wasn't quite wet enough. Promptly lying Allen down in bed, Kanda walked towards the window and threw them open. Allen was too lost with desire to try to figure out why Kanda was letting the cold in. But the samurai on the other hand, was up to no good. Reaching down, he plucked a thick icicle from under the window sill and swiftly closed the windows. _What…_

The young general's breath was stuck in his chest when he realized where the icicle was going to end up. It quickly plucked Allen from his sexed up stupor and attempted to escape. "Nnoo! Kanda - you stupid pervert!! This is insane! Oh my god! There is no way, that thing is going up my ass!!!"

But given Kanda's speed, Allen didn't stand a chance and possessive arms were once again wrapped around his waist even before his feet could touch the ground. "Stop being such a sissy! I bet you are going to enjoy it anyway." Without warming, the struggling boy was pushed onto the bed and Kanda's full body weight trapping him.

"Oh shit – I am trapped."

With the icicle in hand, Kanda started drawing a path across the boy's torso, making the cursed boy whimper from the cold sensations. Starting from the shoulder, the ice hovered for a while on his chest, before heading straight for his navel, and across his sensitive hip. When Allen though the ice was going to travel further south, it made a detour and settled on his nipples. Allen had to bit his lips hard to hold back the moans as the ice made his nipples freeze painfully. And when the cold went away, in its wake was a throbbing heat.

"Stop torturing me, you pervert."

"Okay love, I am going to make you feel good really, really soon…" Kanda's voice was husky and low as he whispered quietly, and his every breath was coarse and rough. He was painfully aware of his neglected member but that could wait.

The next thing Allen knew, he was screaming as the ice made contact with his sensitive tip and his hand flew to grip Kanda's hand, trying to push the ice away from it. His whole body tensed up and jerked, trying hard to deal with the clash of pain and pleasure.

"Ngh aaahh!! Ah AHHH!!"

As if it wasn't enough, Kanda brought the tip of the icicle to the slit and rubbed against it – covering it in pre-cum. It was quite mind-blowing actually - the extremities in temperature. And the cold did nothing to drowse the flame in his nether region. - instead it fueled it. The struggling body was finally allowed relief when Kanda's hand pulled away. Breathing heavily – Allen went limp as he tried to recover. He could only stare as he watched Kanda lick the icicle like the best tasting candy on earth. What a turn-on.

"Kanda – you really are a bastard. Don't ever pull that stunt again."

The samurai chuckled darkly - "Sorry but I don't think I heard that."

Without any warning, the icicle slipped easily past the opening and entered the heated depths of his body. The sensations it created was enough to force an orgasm from the petite boy as Allen arched painfully. It was the first time that it happened to him – coming from just being entered. And by an icicle no less.

"Oh my god – KANDA!! Take it out! Take it out now!! Haa haa GAAH!!"

Because of the ice melting within his body, the intruding object slid easily within his body. Even after such a unbelievable orgasm, he remained hard because Kanda refused to pull the icicle out as he continued to thrust it into the convulsing body. Allen squirmed and trembled on the bed, trying to catch his breath in between breathy moans. He wasn't sure how much more of this stimulation he could take.

"Hah...! Nh! KANDA!!"

The British boy arched his back painfully and screamed like never before when the ice cold tip struck his sweet spot head on. He screamed even more as an ice-cold hand wrapped itself around his shaft, pumping in time with the thrusts. The ice thrusting into his body was freezing him from the inside out. But the boiling heat that was coiling in his stomach was threatening to engulf his entire being as well. His mind was overwhelmed – barely able to do anything but feel. He never once thought something could ever feel so good even if it was rather painful at the same time. Allen's mind did the only thing thinkable – scream. Scream out these feelings of pleasurable torture; screaming himself hoarse. His hands crawling at whatever he could get his hands on. The boy tossed his head about; totally drowning in the sea of sexual pleasure. Somewhere at the back of his mind – Allen wondered if it was possible to die from an overdose of sexual pleasure. It felt so good it brought tears to his eyes.

"Kanda... please." the boy croaked. He was in heaven, but he couldn't take much more.

Never before in his life did Kanda think he would get to see his beloved beg like this. Thrashing around so wantonly, yelling and screaming unintelligible words, pleasure flooding every fiber of his being. But Kanda could no longer ignore the throbbing between his legs. Withdrawing the rod of ice from between quivering legs, the samurai permitted his lover a moment of rest, and also allowing himself a chance to plan how he was going to take his moyashi tonight. Through his half-lid eyes, the little bean could sense the intense gaze from those pair of hawk eyes and it aroused him even more. His member twitched in anticipating – oh dear, he was being such a whore today.

Lowering himself, Kanda kissing those trembling shoulders tenderly, whispering naughty words. The older exorcist cupped the round, inviting curve of Allen's butt, one cheek in each hand before teasing his lover with the hard, blunt tip of his arousal. The cursed boy shudder deliciously against him before he took Allen slowly; wanting his young lover to feel every inch of his heat enter him. For a second time that night, Allen came upon being entered.

"Aahhhgg…."

Soaking up every single ripple of pleasure that washed across his lover's features, his arms curled around Allen's waist, pressing the boy's flushed, naked body against him as he rode out his climax. For Allen, it was a sensory roller coaster and it ripped any rational thought forcefully out of his brain. Just when he thought he was done freezing his insides, the searing heat from Kanda's thick shaft invading him, threatened to melt and burn him.

He held onto Kanda tightly, fingers digging hard into his arms, breath rasping rapidly against those strong shoulders as the swordsman continued to thrust in slowly, embedding himself a few incredible inches at a time. The pleasurable fire seared his body in unrelenting waves while his own flesh pressing and rubbing against the other's taut stomach... it was too much. He whimpered in his throat at the unstoppably building tension in his groin for the third time that night.

"Ah….nghhhh…" He felt like he was going to pass out from the bliss.

He sucked his breath in sharply as his burning member was engulfed in freezing depths. _Oh God..._ Kanda moaned with every push, as he plunged deeper into the soft flesh – his lover's body swallowing and gripping him so tightly he had to struggle to control his desire to bury himself with one thrust. With a soft groan, the Japanese sped up his thrusts, diving deeper into the body to claim the boy to the hilt, making the exorcist's body jerk with the intense pleasure. Hips slammed together urgently, mindlessly thrusting in their desperation to feel every bit of delicious friction that the other had to offer. Too lost in the feel of muscles contracting around him, Kanda could barely concentrate on stroking his lover.

All these proved to be too much of a stimulation as Allen climaxed hard a third time that night. Hot sticky fluid splattering across his lover's chest but the deep thrusts between his legs continued, his organ stroked firmly to milk him of every ounce of pleasure. Eventually, the wildly convulsed muscles around his sensitive flesh and the hoarse cries of pleasure pushed the Japanese over the edge. He too was overwhelmed by a blinding wave of pleasure, his hot cum shot deep inside the boy.

Together, they collapsed on top of the tangled sheets, still trembling from the aftermath of their powerful orgasm. While Kanda remained deeply embedded in his lover's body, enjoying the connection as he recovered, Allen was still drunk from his sexual high. He felt deeply sated and he sighed in contentment. _Wow_... a faint look of awe mingled with his contentment. Tonight was incredible – the best present that he had ever received. With that thought in mind, he let his exhausted body drag him away from consciousness.

The older male gently slipped his now-flaccid cock out as he sense his young lover fall asleep. He wasn't surprised if the throbbing entrance was torn in some places and even oozing some blood. Easing the unconscious boy comfortably into his arms, the blanket was drawn up to cover their flushed body, skin radiant from the afterglow. Looking lovingly at the boy in the arms as he brushed a few locks of dampened snow white hair aside. He buried his nose into the mob of hair; breathing in Allen's scent, his arms tight around his lover. His lover. His lover. Allen belonged in his arms. Making sure Allen was well covered, he eventually let himself drift off into an exhausted sleep.

"Happy birthday Moyashi" whispered a certain BaKanda.

**As you can guess my Christmas present to everyone is – massive nosebleeds! Haha. I nearly died writing this lemon idea. Initially I wanted to pace myself over a couple of days but I ended up being sexual frustrated when I constantly have a half-written lemon swimming in my mind. So I gave it my all and this is definitely a wonderful ending to a wonderful story. Cheers!**


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